Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Sleep Issues

I can't sleep. Ever. Okay, ever might be an exaggeration. Let me rephrase. I can't sleep soundly, or solidly, through an entire night. Ever. And this time the ever is not an exaggeration. My sleep issues have been years in the making. When I was really young, maybe two or three, we had bats that lived in the attic of our house. There were a few times the bats escaped the attic and flew into my bedroom. I remember burying myself beneath the blankets, crying for my dad. What kid wouldn't have trouble sleeping after that?

When I got a little older my mom would tuck us into bed and leave our radio on, with FM 100 playing softly. When she went to bed she would turn the radio off. This happened every night, without fail. One night she and my dad went to a meeting and said they would be back 'soon.' We had gone to bed, and the radio was on. I woke up about midnight and the radio was STILL ON. As a kid I worried about everything, EVERYTHING, and when I realized the radio was still on, I was sure my parents had died in some horribly tragic accident. I got out of bed and confirmed what I already knew: my parents weren't home. I'll spare you the dramatic details of what happened next, it was pathetic really. The experience traumatized me enough that it was years before I could fall asleep with music playing. And by years I mean that even now I can't completely fall asleep with music playing.

As I got older I couldn't sleep because I was certain every bad man in the world was out to get ME...not my sister who shared a bunk bed - in my mind she was always going to be safe, it was just me they were after. Thankfully I got over that fear...(I think it was when I found out that Ted Bundy had finally died).

I couldn't sleep if there were lights on - anywhere. Our radio had this little light that blinked and I would have to cover that light every night. My sister thought I was psychotic. Hmmm...maybe I shouldn't have put that in past tense.

Anyway...where we live now I get it all: lights, noise, train tracks, loud neighbors, music...everything except the bats. I've tried covering the windows with black paper but it doesn't last because ironically, I like waking up to the sunlight. I've tried sleeping with an eye mask - I'm not a fan. I use ear plugs on occasion and I think they actually help.

I envy those people who can close their eyes and be out in two minutes. I think all of my siblings have that ability. It takes me an average of two hours before I can finally drift off to sleep. (And no, it's not a guilty conscious, for those of you who are going to suggest that.) Sadly, the idea of a nap is a foreign one to me. IF I do fall asleep in my attempt at napping, it lasts for maybe 10 minutes.

About once or twice a month my lack of sleep catches up to me and I crash. I can go to bed at 9 or 10 and sleep the entire night. I love those nights. Last week I took a sleeping pill two nights in a row; I loved those nights too. (I am not generally a pill popper but because of all of my bruises from the fall, I needed some extra help in the sleep department.)

Last night I had all the classic symptoms of "it's going to be a good sleep night." I was super excited to get home and get to bed. Alas...and alas again...Becca chose last night to bake her pumpkin seeds she's been saving since Halloween. My bedroom is above the kitchen and all smells - good and bad - float upward. Baked pumpkin seeds? Not such a great smell. And it was STRONG...and didn't fade the entire night. I think I awoke three or four times thinking our house was on fire.

Sigh...my next "it's going to be a good sleep night" probably won't come around again for a few weeks. Sigh again.

20 comments:

Tia said...

You poor thing! You should call me on your "I can't sleep" nights, I'm usually up too. Without A Trace and Cold Case have marathon's that run for most of the night. :) By the way, thanks for getting your work done so you could update your blog. Now I have an excuse to NOT finish the work I'm supposed to do! :)

David G. Woolley said...

I can't read your blog. Its too dark. Fix it or I quit.

Tia said...

I have to respectfully disagree with Mr. Woolley, and not just because he doesn't think I'm a real person.

Your blog colors are earthy and natural, not too dark. One would think that would appeal to him...

Noelle said...

I'm taking a poll. Is my blog too dark? Thanks Tia for your opinion. Anyone else?

Sandra said...

I don't think the blog is too dark, but perhaps the words too light?

I don't sleep either, for most of the reasons you mentioned, except the bats- for me it was the cyotes outside the bedroom window.

Aaron and JaLae said...

This is my suggested solution:

The house next door is for sale. Buy it. When I see your light on...I'll come over. When you see mine...you come over. Either way, we're both up so we'll make the most of our insomnia.

Mr. Woolley, she can't sleep...cut the girl some slack! (that translates into "no - it's not too dark").

David G. Woolley said...

I don't mind earthy, but earthy annoying is out of style. And natural annoying is worse than green shag with bell bottoms. Its like trying to read static on the radio. This is brail with leather gloves.

Noelle said...

Okay...I changed the font color. It's darker. Dave, that's all you're going to get. If you still can't read it...maybe it's time for a new computer.

David G. Woolley said...

I ordered the new computer today.

David G. Woolley said...

I noticed on your blog list that Pam & McKay haven't posted for more than 8 months and Sue and Joe are over 11 months without any newsworthy items.

Why don't you take them off your list? You can catch up on their latest at, say, a yearly Christmas party. Apparenlty they don't have anything worth saying more than once a year.

David G. Woolley said...

Oh. And that weird lady over at Navel gazing. Sue. Take her off your list too. She voted for a Socialist. Ewe.

rplatt said...

I like the blog. I love the colors, and I don't think you are a pyscho. In fact I think your insomnia is rubbing off on me. Perhaps Jalae is on to something. :)

Noelle said...

Does anyone else think Dave is awfully opinionated?

Tia said...

Not at all...

I almost typed that with a straight face.

Sandra said...

Awfully opinionated or not, we just read his comments for amusement purposes.

Noelle said...

Hey Sandra,

Which photo did your daughter decide to submit?

Sandra said...

She chose #11, the last one.

Manda said...

I will forever be grateful that I am one of the siblings that can just sleep and sleep and sleep....it's a beautiful thing :)
I think your blog looks lovely...Dave, you're a guy...you're opinion on color doesn't count sorry you lose!
And! Sue is cool :p So ha!!!

David G. Woolley said...

Manda:

I know some Germans who thought Hitler was cool.

Color coordination may not be my thing, but reading braile doesn't work on a computer screen.

Dave

Manda said...

It's not even close to braile...it's so readable that even Helen Keller being blind could have read it!

And...Sue doesn't even come close to comparing to Hitler...epic fail on your part!