Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Either Way, I'm Toast


DISCLAIMER

To the three men who read this blog:

My brother (who doesn't count because he has to listen to me anyway)

Mr. Woolley

and

The English Bee (who may or may not read this post)

This may be too girly of a topic for the three of you mentioned above. That's all I am going to say. You had your fair warning.
Remember back in the day when you were in the 6th grade and you started getting acne? Remember the creams and the medications and the home remedies? And remember how the older you got, the more creative those home remedies became? And finally, remember when at last you reached adulthood and you no longer had to worry about such trivial things as acne? What a happy time!

What I'm wondering is if I missed that part in the 'maturation program' where they tell you that once you're well into your thirties you will again feel like you're in the 6th grade. Did any of you hear that?

Good grief!!! It's like I woke up one day about 6 months ago and my face said "Welcome back to the 6th grade. You'll like it here." My mom heard about a new home remedy: Milk of Magnesia - you put it on your face like lotion. I bought stock in the company. I found my own home remedy that I think actually works: a little dab of Neosporin and some white tape...you know that medical tape that doctors use with gauze? Nearly every night I have white tape somewhere on my face. It's feminine, dainty, and appealing for sure.

So today I was telling my cousin about my home remedy, and the more I talked to him the more he looked worried. My cousin calls me Prima, which is cousin in Spanish, and so he interrupted me and said, "Prima! That's not good!" Go ahead and ask, what's not good? "You're not supposed to put Neosporin on your face. It causes brain cancer." And my dear cousin really believes that.

It's a toss up, brain cancer or spending the rest of my life in the sixth grade.

9 comments:

Karen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Karen said...

OK, here's my plug. I don't know about the neosporin thing but I will tell you that 6th grade thing didn't happen to me in 6th grade it happened at the age of 25, right around the time I met my husband (and he married me anyway :) Anyway, I tried lots of things too and I finally broke down and bought ProActive. It saved my life, well my acne infested face anyway. It really does what the product says it will. I don't use it anymore because I don't have the problem any longer but I would if I ever get acne again. Try it. First time users pay half price!

David G. Woolley said...

I never had acne.

The best home remedy is get off all that sugar and junk food. I won't bore you with the details. Just do it. No acne. Never again. Period.

Acne is a manly topic. You can be rid of your disclaimer. Foundation, lip stick, eye liner. That's girly stuff.

Manda said...

Lol. Primo is a dork. Just don't do acutane!!!!! Whatever you do...it will ruin your life like it did mine...er...the life of my scalp anyway :)

Sandra said...

Noelle, this is what I tell my kids
Go drink some water. Water cures everything.

Ya, they roll their eyes at me too. ;)

Noelle said...

Sandra, I agree with you about the water thing. I preach drinking water to everyone!

Dave, contrary to your opinion and belief, I don't eat that much sugar.

Karen, I think I'll try it! Thanks!

Daniel and Elise said...

Your blogs make me really happy :) The other night I used the Proactiv face mask stuff as an on-the-spot treatment. I put it on a monster zit, and two days later it was completely GONE! I couldn't believe it! I have extra bottles of that mask stuff, too, I should bring one by for you the next time I'm up there! You could give it a try, since you've given everything else a try :) You just put it on your zits at night and wash it off in the morning.

Mr. Thompson and Me said...

I'm laughing right now. Really laughing.

In my option...chocolate cures anything! Go ahead - indulge yourself.

David G. Woolley said...

In my option? What is that supposed to mean? My option?

Now if you had an opinion we might be interested, but all you can do with an option is buy wheat, oats, or barley. Did you ever play that game?