Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Without A Trace

Do any of you watch that show? Agent Jack Mahone and I would be good friends. I wish Agent Mahone were real. If he were real he could help me. Turns out my blog has been hijacked. Sort of. It's complicated. I'll do my best to explain.

Did you know that Mr. Woolley has been MIA for a few weeks now? Our dear blogging friend Sandra is the first one who pointed it out to me. She sent me an email asking about Mr. Woolley. First he made his blog private, then he removed himself from my followers list (and now it's down to a measly 9 followers), THEN he removed all of his comments from my blogs.

I emailed Mr. Woolley to find out if he was alive. I heard no response. My sister dedicated an entire blog to Mr. Woolley. Nothing. I copied a part of Sandra's blog where she said something about Mr. Woolley being MIA, thinking this would tug at Mr. Woolley's heartstrings. Turns out he has no heartstrings. Mr. Thompson and Me sent Mr. Woolley a text inquiring as to his whereabouts. I don't think she heard a reply. And finally, in a drastic last attempt at reaching out to my friend, and yours, I sent Mr. Woolley this message, "Where the 'H' are you?" Yes, I said it just like that. He could read between the lines.

Days and days went by before I FINALLY heard a response from Mr. Woolley. And it was with that response that I found out about my blog being hijacked, sort of. It's still complicated.

Mr. Woolley refuses to rejoin the blogging world until I meet some of his demands. And by I, I really mean we...all of you who have ever read my blog.

MR. WOOLLEY'S DEMANDS: (and if they are met he will make his blog unprivate and bless us all with his witty wisdom and insight once again)

1. Tiff, you spelled Mr. Woolley's name wrong in your blog. Could you fix that?

2. Dentist, Mr. Woolley really wants you to make a comment. In fact, it's possible his blog will never be made unprivate until you comment. (This is where we have some trouble. The dentist might know I have a blog. But he's NEVER read my blog. He wouldn't even know how to find a blog. And to get him to comment??? Maybe, if I agreed to go shoot a buffalo first.) Agent Mahone, WHERE are you???

3. Readers, you don't make enough comments about Mr. Woolley's comments. Forget the fact that it's MY blog and your comments are about MY blog, Mr. Woolley wants your comments to be about his comments. It's like his self-worth and success as an author are determined by YOUR comments. Look at the power you have! Please, for the love of Wally and all else that means anything to you, would you all leave a little comment about how you think Mr. Woolley is funny?!! (Even if you don't think he's funny. At this point it's the number of comments we get, not the content.)

*I'm hopeful that if we get enough comments Mr. Woolley will forget all about the comment from the dentist.

I guess the good news in all of this is that Mr. Woolley is in fact alive and well. He's a royal pain in the neck, and if Agent Mahone were a real person we wouldn't need to meet any of these demands, BUT at least he's alive. (See how I'm always looking for the positive?)


Jared said...

I for one loved reading Dave's comments. In fact the reason I would read Noelle's blog had nothing to do with the fact that she is my sister but to read his comments.

Tia said...

Mr Woolley, please come back! I haven't choked on a beverage while reading Noelle's blog comments in a really long time. Please?

Anonymous said...

I think Mr. Woolley is a goofy, uninteresting, non-funny slouch who is so starved for attention sitting in front of a blank computer screen with a bag of sunflower seeds and ice water and not a single creative bone in his thick skull and with the postively un-nerving nerve to coerce Noelle into posting this blog that Google should ban him for life and the ressurection.

Stay away Woolley. Find some other corner of the internet to harass and leave us normal people to make our comments in peace. You are no good and you're making the Dentist jealous. If he gets wind if this blog, hold on to your gold fillings. He'll hunt you down, gut you like the little fawn you are, stake your innerds to a salt block for the wildlife to lick, and string your sorry self from the branch of quakie with a sign that reads, "Poacher Beware!". No more Woolley! No more Woolley! No more Woolley!

Anonymous said...

PS: Noelle, how do you set up your blog so you don't have to put on the those silly word identification ID thingys that say TYPE THIS WORD IN THE BOX PROVIDED or whatever? Do you know, or did you just get lucky?

From the same anonymous commentor who did the thumbs down, no more woolley comment.

Anonymous said...

PPSS: just call me Ly (Lies and other Yarns)

All the best,


Noelle said...

Dear Anonymous, (who I'm pretty sure is really Mr. Woolley)

Go to

Enter your information

Go to settings

Go to comments

Go to 'Show Word Verification for comment'

Click 'No'

Save Settings


Anonymous said...

That's it? That's all you have to say?



Tiff said...

It's nice to have Dave back!

Anonymous said...

I have to say, I was rather enjoying Mr. Woolley's absence. And Noelle I too like watching "Without a Trace" and should point out that quite often the missing people are found dead. Hmmm.....

Sandra said...

I do believe I told you how to do that word verification thing a couple of months ago. I also told both you and Mr. Woolley that starting my day without his blog is like starting it without orange juice (at which point he promptly told me that I should be drinking juice made out of grass instead, it took me a while, but I do think he is right on that point).

I, like Tia, have not had to clean my computer screen in a couple of weeks. Please come back so that I can get that done again. I also need someone to debate the good and bad merits of whatever is going on at the moment.

I need something to read to tide me over until your book comes out in Sept. and I can handle only so much drivel. And weren't we in the middle of a conversation about a couple of books and whether I liked them or not (didn't like it, loved it- I think perhaps that order, I am too lazy to look and see which ones we talked about)

And finally, if you thought that you could just disappear and no one would notice, then you need to take a contemplative moment, a period of reflection, a measured amount of time dedicated to deep thought. In other words, You have another think coming.

Sandra said...

Oh, and Noelle,
Thank you. and that comment about drivel was about a couple of the books I have been asked to review lately. Just wanted to make sure you knew I didn't mean your blog, because I love your blog.

(do I need to say something else to David in this comment so that he will know that we all do miss him? consider it done, David.)