Thursday, May 14, 2009

I've Heard It Said

That you're supposed to make a big deal about your 100th post. Technically this is my 102nd post. Go me. So in honor of such a big occasion I'm giving you my best dating story ever...ever. It's long and it's wordy (thank heavens for cut and paste). I hope you enjoy. (Oh, and I'm moderating comments...just in case.)

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Once upon a time I had a lapse in my normally mostly good judgment and signed up with an on-line dating service. The lapse didn't last long thankfully, and I un-signed up, (being grammatically correct is not important in this story), but not before creating a mess I had to get out of. The mess was someone I call FLC. Oh...and just to be clear...I'm the mess...not him.

FLC and I 'met' on-line and after a few weeks of chatting FLC wanted to meet for real. And that would have been fine in a normal situation, but nothing about my life is normal, and I have this dentist...I agreed to meet him only after I told him "well...there's this dentist and it's complicated and I'm a mess and I can't offer anything other than friendship and I know, what the heck am I doing on an on-line dating site...and stuff. If after all that you still want to meet, sure, we can meet."

Turns out he did want to meet (his lapse in what I'm sure is normally good judgment) and so we met for ice cream. FLC is nice but the entire situation was somewhat painful. Conversation did not flow smoothly and there was NO chemistry on my part. None, nada...

I thought that things would have a natural end with FLC, but no...he wanted to take me to a Pink Floyd laser show, and then do other 'cool stuff' ... but just as friends…because I have this dentist…and I’m still a mess.

One time he said in an instant message, "I'm going to be charming for a minute. (Wait, don't I get to decide what's charming or not?) You're pictures are great, but meeting you in person was so much better, and if that other guy doesn't get it figured out really soon I'm going to sweep you off your feet." (It would have been hard to do, if I’m being honest.)

How do you feel about long stories? I guess if you hate them you can stop reading. ANYWAY (I say that a lot) FLC didn't let up about the Pink Floyd laser show, and although everyone I talked to told me I wouldn't like their music I finally agreed to go, if nothing else, just to get him to leave me alone. I figured I would go to Pink Floyd and then tell him, if he wanted to ‘hang out’ again, that while I appreciated his interest...yada yada thanks. (Yet another lapse in good judgment. Is there medicine for this??)

Fast forward to the night of the concert...Friday. FLC texted me and said "I bought the tickets. You can't back out now." And then, while I was reading his text I got a phone call...from the dentist. "Hey. I know I told you I wasn't going to see you again until after Valentine's Day, but they moved my son's wrestling match and I'm on my way up to see him wrestle. I'll be there until Saturday."

GREAT I say in my mind. "Well Dentist, I have plans tonight with a friend but if you ask really nicely I could try and get out of them." But the dentist didn't want me to mess up my plans. He would go and see his brother instead and then we would do something Saturday night.So Pink Floyd it was.

The closer it got to the time I was supposed to meet FLC the more I felt that I really didn't want to go. I can't explain the feeling or why I had it, I just DIDN'T want to go. On my drive up to meet FLC the dentist called again. "Hey, I had another change. My son didn't win his match, which means he won't be wrestling tomorrow, which means I'm going back to Cedar tonight so that I can drive to Arizona and watch my other son in his track meet. How long are you going to be with your friend?"

"Until at least 11," I said. And inside my head I'm thinking "Are you KIDDING me? I have to go hang out with someone I don't want to go with, to a laser show I really don't want to go to, and NOW I don't get to see the dentist either???" And then, while all of this screaming was going on inside of my head, I realized that FLC had given me bad directions and I was no where near where I needed to be.

I was not happy...perhaps I was even bitter at the way my night was shaping up. Oh...and I had the beginnings of a migraine. So the dentist said he was going to call Becca and meet her at our house because he had something for me and that while he was sad we weren't going to see each other, he hoped I had fun with my friend. And then while I was talking to the dentist FLC drove up and I cursed in my head. (Maybe I did, I can't remember really, but it sounds like something I might do in such a situation.)

At this point it's 7:30. The laser show wasn't going to start until 10pm. FLC wanted to get something to eat but wasn't interested in waiting at any restaurant. (At first it bugged me, but turns out it was to my benefit later that he didn't want to wait.) We went to a little taco place and ordered our food. My meal cost all of $3.00 (and this is important because it makes what I did later not seem quite so jerky).

We ate...and struggled through some horrible attempts at conversation. I struggled...maybe for him it was perfectly normal. When dinner was through by 8pm I knew it was going to the longest night of my life and I had to get out of it. But how? I said I would go, he bought the tickets...tough luck lady...that's what I told myself. But the thought of leaving wouldn't leave my head.

We got in FLC's car and he said "So, let's go walk around the Gateway for two hours." No, let's not. I took a deep breath and worked up EVERY ounce of courage I had ever imagined I might have and said, " know how you said your brother-in-law wanted to go to the laser show? Maybe you should take him."

He just looked at me. "Are you serious?" "Yes I am. I realize that I'm possibly the biggest jerk you will ever know, and I'm sorry. But I can't go with you to the laser show." Again he said, "Are you serious?" And this is where it gets worse...I am SUCH a jerk, but you know how they say honesty is always the best policy? I gave the only reason I could think of. "You know the guy I'm kind of dating? He's here, and I didn't know he was coming. I'm a jerk, I get it, but the thing is, I really want to see him and tonight is my only chance." (Even though the dentist was probably well on his way to Cedar City, I used him as my excuse anyway.)

And then I said, "I'm so sorry. And I'll pay for the ticket. But can you please just take me back to my car?" He said, "Yep." And he did, and I got out and then he drove away. And I sighed a HUGE sigh of relief and giggled. Yes, I giggled because I didn't have to spend another 4 hours of my night in such a painful situation.

I called my brother and told him what happened. "He'll hate me forever won't he" I said, and my brother said, "Yes, but I'm proud of you. You did the right thing."'s the happy ending. Guess who hadn't gone to Cedar City yet. And guess who I got to go to dinner with. And guess who I had a REALLY great conversation with. FLC HATES me but there's a good chance the dentist doesn't, and in the long run aren't healthy teeth more important?


Amy said...

I'm glad you got your Dentist, even though that was rude to FLC. Honesty is the best policy, but martyr-dom isn't so bad either. You COULD have suffered in silence through the entire pink floyd show (which you would have hated) and been peeved that you missed your Dentist, and hated FLC for the rest of your life, but I say it's better to be hated than to hate. Hate gives you wrinkles and a hard heart and nobody wants that.

Plus FLC was on an online dating site, so.....he's used to weird/flaky/rude/non-existent dates.....right?

Noelle said...

Amy, WHY OH WHY does my internet crash every time I access your blog???

Sandra said...

Well, I say you did the right thing. When your heart is telling you something, you have to listen and act on it. If you don't, you have no one to blame but yourself. You listened and acted and I say good for you. (from the voice of experience)

Tia said...

I love this story even more the second time! I think you did the right thing and I'm proud of you too. FLC I'm sure has gotten over it. :)

Mr. Thompson and Me said...

I'm giggling...yes giggling. Hard. Just like I've been since you first told me how horrible you were. Everyone needs a great "grandchildren" story...and you and the dentist have yours!

And I still say "good for you" for being at a place in your life that you can be so honest! Life is too short and your my hero (which stems from all those time that I desperately wanted to tell my bad dates to just take me home...but didn't). This is why the 30's are so great!

Wherever you are....BE THERE!