The Good News?
or The Bad News?
We'll start with the Bad News.
We're not going hiking in the Uintahs.
The Good News?
My dad is alive.
Let me explain:
My mom has a rule that she has asked my dad to comply with for their 30+ years of wedded bliss.
It's this: "Don't use power tools when you are by yourself." (Especially chain saws)
He's a rather disobedient fellow and on occasion has been grounded from spending his days alone, off in the woods. (He likes to be alone, off in the woods.)
Yesterday he was alone, off in the woods, with no cell phone service, using the chain saw.
Geez Dad...are you looking for trouble?
He was cutting a tree...a stubborn tree...and when he made the final cut, a branch flew up and smacked him in the head.
And when I say smacked, what I really mean is gouged.
His 3" gash went all the way to his skull and wouldn't stop bleeding.
Dad assessed the situation and decided he wasn't in shock, and so rather than drive to the local hospital, he drove an hour to the hospital that was closer to home, holding a leather glove and an old shirt to the gushing gash.
And as he was walking into the ER he called Mom.
My mom waits at home when my dad is alone, off in the woods, and almost expects a phone call.
"Ed, what did you do?"
And then he talked and we didn't hear him.
And then Mom said, "Ed, can I swear?"
And we assumed he told her no.
And then Mom said in a loud, somewhat panicked voice, "Ed, what in the HELL happened?"
And then Dad asked if she really felt better now and she said no.
Dad said, "Don't bother coming down...it's just a scratch. I'm fine."
(We were all at the parents house planning the hike...making sure the details were covered.)
We decided that we shouldn't go hiking...(Tiffany, the words stars not aligning were used. You were right.)
But when I walked into the ER and saw Dad's gash I firmly said, "There's no way we're going."
And then I had to leave because blood and hospitals make me woozy and I didn't want to pass out.
It was a close call.
I have just been to Dad's house to see his wound post ER. It's lovely. I suggested he give his guardian angels a raise.
Had he passed out he could have bled to death...
Oh...and I'm pretty sure he's grounded for the rest of his life.
But only because Mom loves him and wants to keep him around.