Sunday, November 8, 2009

At The Dinner Table

All of us were at Mom's house for dinner today. All = 20.

Dinner is a loud, somewhat rowdy affair. I wish you could see it...it's incredibly entertaining.

According to my Dad I have a bad habit of leaving food on my plate.

Today he got the attention of all of the little people and said, "Look at this. Noelle didn't finish her dinner. Can you all tell her to take two more bites?" And believe me, they told me.

The rule is if you don't finish dinner you don't get dessert. I said to the little people "But I don't even want dessert."

I had to finish anyway...even though I thought the salad dressing was disgusting.

Later we were discussing the possibility of a storm.

I mentioned that I would like it to storm.

Someone said, "Why do you want it to storm?"

I replied, "I would love for my head to go back to normal." (I've been dizzy for three days.)

Dad looked at me and said, "Noelle, I'm afraid it will take plastic surgery to make that happen."

And THAT'S what I get for telling my dad I love him. I want to play a new game.

16 comments:

adrienzgirl said...

My dad has called me "half a brain" for as long as I can remember. This in reference to the fact that at times I can be a little dense. But, he says "you are smarter than most people with your half a brain, imagine what you could do if you could just get both sides to work."

*sigh* I love my dad. But, I could kill him sometimes! :P

Anonymous said...

Today in sacrament meeting the concluding speaker admitted, after the preceeding speaker talked about eliminating contention in the home, that when she was first married she and her husband had a spat.

He said, "Honey, how could God make someone so cute and so dumb?"

She said, "He made me cute so you would marry me. And he made me dumb so I would marry you."

I nearly laughed myself off the pew. It may have been a joke, but it sounded like real life. Very, very, very funny.

And its true. Men sometimes accuse women of being dumb, mostly because they wrongly equate intelligence with the ability to drive a nail squarely into a two by four, lay brick without messing up the plumb line, or change the oil. And women think men are insensitive because, well, they are. But in defense of insensitive men, its hard to be sensitive when you work with so many dumb women.

I'm leaving this as an anonymous comment because Noelle will freak out, go balistic and probably delete it after posting one hundred and one snarky, infuriating, and completely untrue comments about men. And this, from the women who hosts the "Because Nice Matters" blog. Really? Nice? If I don't sign my name there is a squeeker of a chance that it will remain untouched for generations yet unborn to read, and to profit from these words of ultimate wisdom.

How are the pony packs coming, Noelle? Have you found true love? Forget roses. I heard pansies are the best flower for testing a man's true heart.

Tiffany said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sandra said...

I love big family dinners. I even love all the silliness and teasing that goes on. And I love it when all my kids gather round my table and we say those silly things (though it is usually me that inadverdatly says them.)

And Annon, I am intelligent AND I can drive a nail squarely into a two by four, lay brick without messing up the plumb line, or change the oil. I can also cook and sew and clean and carry on an intelligent conversation.

And despit anything I have said in the past, Men are my favorite of all God's creations.

Amy said...

I love your dad. and he loves you too.

Noelle said...

Dear Anon...let me remind you of something that happened once.

There we were, Kimber, Natalie, and myself, digging a trench through the jungle. We were weilding picks, shovels, even an axe.

And we were digging a dang good trench...being ever so suavecito just like Santiago suggested.

And then, out of nowhere, Mr. Macho Anonymous Commenter came and said, "I am a man. I can do it better."

And you took that pick and WHACK...you hit the pipe...the one pipe Santiago begged us not to hit.

Hmmm...

Noelle said...

Dear Anon...let me remind you of something that happened once.

There we were, Kimber, Natalie, and myself, digging a trench through the jungle. We were weilding picks, shovels, even an axe.

And we were digging a dang good trench...being ever so suavecito just like Santiago suggested.

And then, out of nowhere, Mr. Macho Anonymous Commenter came and said, "I am a man. I can do it better."

And you took that pick and WHACK...you hit the pipe...the one pipe Santiago begged us not to hit.

Hmmm...

Noelle said...

Oh...and Anonymous? The only time I ever reacted negatively to one of your comments was the time you were RUDE...really RUDE...really really RUDE.

Anonymous said...

Dearest Tiffany:

We men are extremely comfortable expressing our feelings, we just don't like it when it makes all you women folk cry. So we, in all our galantry, hold back so you can save face.

Does the table for one come with its own waitress and a view of the pony packs? I'll take it.

Anonymous said...

Noelle: I wasn't rude. I was only pointing out how mean you were to that poor, poor soul. You're the queen of niceness Mrs. Because Nice Matters. It was SOOOOO out of character I figured it was a joke. Or a dream. Or both.

Annie said...

I can imagine the little ones faces when your Dad said that. I have to laugh.

Have a nice week.

Tiffany said...

Dear Noelle and Anonymous.

Sorry my earlier comment wasn't more friendly :(

I obviously should not interact with the general public the day after working a graveyard shift... much too sarcastic when I'm sleep deprived.

I am chastened and repentant.

Noelle said...

Dear Tiffany...I thought your comment was PERFECT! I'm sad you deleted it. :)

David G. Woolley said...

Me too.

David G. Woolley said...

And who is this anonymous guy anyway? What a jerk.

A girl needs 2 Talk said...

Who is this crazy anonymous? MORON.

I am glad the kids got you to finish dinner. You ought to eat!