Saturday, October 31, 2009

Friday, October 30, 2009

Two Things That Made Me Laugh

Thing One

We have a customer named Jose Delgado. Jose is in his 50s and when he talks in English he does so with a heavy accent. Jose is a little bit bowl legged and he wears long sleeve button down shirts, that he tucks in and leaves unbuttoned. Jose was probably a don juan in his younger years.

When he comes into the office he says two things: "Anybody home?" and "Hola Senorita"...but the hola senorita is said with as much of an American accent as he can get.

Yesterday he walked through the door with his usual greeting. "Anybody home?"

I replied with "No."

He said, "Nobody home to help me?"

I replied with "No way..." and then I said, "No way Jose."

And then I cracked up...because AFTER I said 'no way Jose' it clicked in my head that I was talking to Jose...I couldn't stop laughing. And Jose just stood in the door looking at me with a look that said, "This is so not amusing." His look made me laugh harder and I couldn't stop. After a minute or so he said, "Are you finished yet?"

There are times when I'm sure I'm the only one alive who finds certain situations entertaining.


Thing Two

An instant message conversation I had with blueeyesinca yesterday


Have you ever fed fish? You put the fish food in the tank and instantly the fish swarm to the top of the tank. That's kind of how I feel whenever I log into the on-line dating site. My status appears online and I can't change it. It's a race to see if I can get in and get out before anyone tries to instant message me. Yesterday I lost the race and had this ever so pleasant conversation.

Blueeyesinca: Hi gorgeous.

Me: Hello.

Blueeyesinca: Is it cold in Utah today?

Me: Yes...it's freezing in Utah today.

Blueeyesinca: Did I tell you I think you're sexy hot?

Me: I guess you just did.

Blueeyesinca: Well you are...you're HOT!

Me: Well thank you.

Blueeyesinca: Are the kids in the pictures yours?

Me: No, they are my siblings' kids.

Blueeyesinca: They are so cute!

Me: I happen to agree.

Blueeyesinca: Your kids will probably be adorable.

Me: If I ever have kids I hope they will be at least as cute as my nieces and nephews.

Blueeyesinca: They will be. I could help you with that you know.

(Me thinking 'What the H?')

Me: What do you do for work?

Blueeyesinca: Do you want kids?

(Me thinking 'Rats...he didn't take the bait. How am I going to get out of this conversation?')

Me: Someday if the opportunity comes along I would love kids. If not, I'm happy being a favorite aunt.

Blueeyesinca: Hello? What am I? Chopped liver?

Me: You are a complete stranger.

Blueeyesinca: I am the opportunity you have been waiting for.

Me: You are a complete stranger who lives in California.

Blueeyesinca: You should let your guard down and throw caution to the wind.

Me: I'll keep that in mind.

Blueeyesinca: I've got to go gorgeous. But can I have your number so we can text?

Me: No. The phone I have is a work phone.

(And it is...that is the honest truth. He doesn't need to know that I text other people with my work phone.)

Blueeyesinca: Well let's talk tomorrow. I think I am starting to really like you.

(Me thinking: I won't be online tomorrow...or ever.)

And then I signed off.

Did I say three months? I think I meant three weeks.

Did you go visit Multiples and More yet? If you just can't get enough of me, read my post there.

(Me thinking: Noelle, they have much better things to do.)






Thursday, October 29, 2009

Bibles and Pit Bulls

I think it's time for another story. I need a break from all of the on-line drama. And if I need a break, I can only imagine that you really need a break!

One of my best friends is a girl I met in NYC. We worked together twice: first in Jamaica, Queens and then later in Brooklyn. I had only been in NYC a few months when I moved to Jamaica and met Fawcett. (Her name is Leslie but I still call her Fawcett. She still calls me Platt...so do her parents, her husband, and her daughter. One day her husband called me Noelle and her daughter said, "DAD! That's Platt!)

But back to the story:

The church had been running an advertisement for free Bibles and we had stacks and stacks of paperwork with names and addresses of people wanting a Bible. We were daunted by the task before us. There was no way we were ever going to have the time to deliver all of the Bibles.

One day we discussed our options and decided on a very practical way of deciding who was going to get a free Bible that day. We took two stacks of paperwork and threw them in the air. We let the papers fall to the floor and the ones that landed face up...they are the ones we tracked down.

Sometime in the afternoon we had only a few people left to find, one was a guy named JR. We made our way to an apartment building and knocked on JR's door. He wasn't home. On the way out of the building we met a woman named Marlene. Marlene had just recently moved to NYC from Haiti and Marlene was looking for a church to join. How convenient that we could help her with that. We set up a time to go back and talk to Marlene and then headed to our next appointment.

We were on the sidewalk outside of Marlene's building when we were stopped by a guy. "Are you the Mormon missionaries?" We said we were. He said that he had ordered a Bible off of the TV. We asked, "Are you JR?" He was. He asked us to go back with him to his apartment because he wanted to learn more about the church.

The minute he opened the door I knew we were in for a treat. There was a pit bull there to greet us and a big puddle of dog urine we had to step over to get into the apartment. He led us past the kitchen, past the living room where someone was sitting watching TV, and into another room. Turns out that the other room was his bedroom...but we didn't realize it until we were already inside, with the door shut and locked. Hmmm...

How convenient that there was another guy also in the room. I looked at Fawcett and she looked at me and JR said, "have a seat ladies." The walls were covered with pictures of half naked women, there were beer bottles everywhere, and the friend was looking at us with a look that said he wasn't interested in learning anything from the Bible.

Fawcett said, "So...you wanted to learn about our church? That is why we're here right?"

JR said, "No, not exactly. But you don't have to be afraid."

Fawcett looked him in the eye and said, "We're not. We know karate."

JR flinched a little bit, looked over to his friend, and looked back at us.

"You do?"

I said, "Don't you? They teach us that in school back home. Everyone knows karate."

Then Fawcett stood up and said, "We'll be leaving boys. And we'll just take this Bible with us."

I didn't write home about that day.

Oh...and one more thing...

Tomorrow I am the guest blogger over at Multiples and More. Go visit me there!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

I Am Such A Girl

This will be the last post today, I promise!

I've had a mental debate going on all day long: post the pictures or not.

And I did post one of Steve...my lunch date.

And then I posted pictures of the other two guys I wrote about.

And then I deleted the post with the pictures of the two guys.

And I just deleted Steve's picture too.

Because really...do they want their picture posted on my blog...for the world to see?

I know, they posted their own picture on-line for the world to see...but that was their choice, not mine.

So...no more pictures. I hope you understand.

Phew...

Oh...and while I've got you...

Lunch was pleasant.

Steve is a nice guy.

Steve's future goals include taking 4 months off of work to wander through Europe.

I wished him luck.

If Steve asks me out again, I will go.

If Steve doesn't ask me out again, it won't be that surprising.

There you have it.

Now...go read something worthwhile for heaven's sake.

Here's What Happens At Heather's House



Last night I stopped at my sister's house to say hi. (And to get a chocolate chip cookie. If she had planned on keeping the cookies a secret she shouldn't have called me for the recipe.)

When I walked in the back door she said, "I've been needing an adult to walk through that door for two hours. Can you put bows around the packages of cookies?"

(I know, her calling me an adult surprised me too. I looked at my nieces and said, "Did you hear that? Your mommy thinks I'm an adult!" She just rolled her eyes.)

I sat at the table and dutifully tied bows. Although, if truth be known, I'm a lousy bow tier...always have been. My Christmas packages don't get homemade bows...it's store bought or nothing.

Sami, who is 2, sat on the table next to me and played with my hair. She gave me a shy smile and said, "I love you." She was buttering me up because when I turned away she opened one of the packages of cookies and ate half a cookie before I caught her. I laughed, hugged her, and said, "Sami, I'm so proud of you!" (My sister rolled her eyes again.)

So while Sami and I ate contraband cookies, Erika and Gabi sat at the other end of the table coloring. I was telling my sister about my lunch date and I was complaining about a zit that just happened to appear yesterday.

Erika said, "What's a zit?"

I showed her and she scrunched up her nose. "Just wait Miss Marie (that's what I call her)...just you wait."

Then I said, "Girls, why don't you pray that my zit goes away by tomorrow?" They said they would, and then the conversation changed to other things.

Later, when I was leaving, Gabi said, "Noelle, I promise that tonight when I go to bed I'm going to pray that your zit goes away." I thanked her and told her that in return I would pray that her cough would go away.

She said, "I'll pray for your zit, you pray for my cough, and then we'll go to Hollywood! Even though I don't know what Hollywood is, or where it is."

Erika, the much wiser older sister said, "Gabs, Hollywood is where the movie stars live."

And with Hollywood to look forward to, I snuck another cookie and walked out the door.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Who Would You Pick?


"Hi. I would love to hear more about your experience in Guatamala. Are you a member of a Gym? What are your top 4 fovorite rock bands?"

"HI I would love to chat and get to know you. I think you are cute. Thanks"

"There is no way you have never been married??? Unless you have a PHD!!! LOL"

Dear Mr. I Want to Form a Rock Band, (that's what he said in his profile)
What if I told you I'm not a member of a gym and I don't like rock bands. Still interested?

Dear Dstinson, could you be so kind as to put up a different picture? It's kind of hard to tell if you're a guy or a girl...I'm just trying to be honest.

Dear Neven...you're right, I've been married three times...I just thought I would get more results if I said I had never been married. Oh...and is a PHD a deal breaker?

(I'm still trying to decide if posting pictures of these guys crosses a line...I think it might.)

I do have a lunch date tomorrow with Steve. I think Steve is a lawyer. Steve is 44. Steve has never been married. Steve almost got thrown in jail once in Belize for not having a tourist visa. Steve and I actually started talking the last time I attempted this on-line disaster...He wanted to take me to lunch a year ago...better late than never right?

On to different things:

Some time ago Sam over at Life Is Beautiful tagged me in a blog. So here you go...8 Random Facts about me: (you're excited aren't you?)

1. I'm left-handed.
2. I don't love chocolate.
3. The clothes in my closet are color coordinated, and arranged according to style.
4. I am in LOVE with NCIS.
5. Every morning I wake up with a sore back.
6. Once I start reading a book I can't stop until I've finished it. (Even if it means staying up all night.)
7. I wish I could paint.
8. Okay...don't get mad. Seriously. Don't. I gave the gun back a week ago...I just wanted to know what you would do. (And giving it back produced the result I was hoping for...) I didn't give it back personally. A mutual friend gave it back for me.

And that is enough randomness for today. I'm headed back outside, into the freezing temperatures...to do inventory. I love my job.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Apples and A Question

Crunchy or chewy?

Cinnamon or no cinnamon?

How do you like your dried apples?

I think I prefer them a little chewy with cinnamon.

We've had apples drying on our counter for weeks ... weeks I tell you, and by the time we eat all of the dried apples in our pantry, I'm never going to want to look at another apple!

Okay... I'm taking a poll. I'm curious as to what you would do in a situation.

Let's say that someone you were dating gave you a gun for Valentines Day.

Let's say that a few months later things ended with the said someone.

And let's say that the way things ended was bad...really...and that it took you a while to recover.

Would you keep the gun or give it back?

Friday, October 23, 2009

They Did An X-Ray...

Don't worry, I'm not going to die.

It's just bronchitis. And as long as I don't move I don't cough.

Here's my random question of the day:

Why is it that total strangers feel like they have to tell you their life story the first time they talk to you? If there were one BIG reason I don't like doing the on-line thing, this would be it. Just because I said hi doesn't mean I'm going to marry you for heavens sake.

A guy just sent me an instant message telling me I was cute. Then he wanted to know why I wasn't married. Then he said, "Aren't you going to ask me why I got divorced?" I responded and said, "No. I'm a complete stranger. It's really none of my business."

He said, "Oh, but you can ask anything. I want you to feel comfortable."

Thank you very much, but why don't we start with something more simple, like what's your name?

Camaree asked if I initiate contact with guys...the answer Cami is no. Except for one time...and that's because I couldn't help myself. The guy had such a cute picture...so I told him so. He wrote back and said, "YOU have a great picture. You're gorgeous!" That worked out well don't you think? It would be a match made in heaven...except that we don't live anywhere near each other. (And if we're being honest that's probably why I sent him the message. I figured I would never meet him so I had nothing to lose.)

Okay...enough of this. I'm going in search of a couch and a remote control.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

I'm Not In Oregon Anymore

I had a choice:

Be sick in Oregon or be sick at home. I chose home. So I changed my flight and came home.

There's a pretty good bet I have pneumonia. The doctor's visit later today will confirm or deny.

I'll let you know.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

I'm In Oregon

Depending on when you read this I'll be on a plane or already in Oregon.


I'll be there until Friday.


I'll be doing a little work, and then I'm taking a few days to play.


I'll visit some family.


And I'll go to the coast.


Did you know I'm in love with the ocean?


(I took this picture the last time I went to the coast.)


See you when I get back!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Tell Me...

Could you say no to this face?


Last week Kate came to work with her mom.

We play while her mom works.

I had a bracelet on my desk.

Kate picked it up and said, "Is this yours?"

"Yes," I said.

"Do you like it?" Kate asked.

"Why Kate? Do you like it?"

She nodded her head.

"Do you want to have it?"

She nodded her head again.

A little bit later she put on one of my rings.

"I wish this fit me," she said with a sigh.

"One of these days we'll get you a ring that fits Kate."

"Today?"

"No, not today."

"Tomorrow?"

"Okay, maybe tomorrow."

And then Kate said, "Don't forget! I'll call you tomorrow to remind you."

And she did.

And I took her and bought her a ring...just like mine.

And while we were looking at rings she said, "My bracelet broke. Can we get me a new one?"

Kate sees me for what I really am: a pushover.

* * * * * *

And in other news, here's an update (of the on-line dating variety):

At last count I had 180 views to my profile and 40 messages in my inbox.
Of those 40 messages at least 15 of them are from guys who don't speak English very well. I didn't say anything on my profile about speaking Spanish. I'm like a magnet I tell you.

I got a message from a guy named Matt that said this: "Hi. You work at a garden center? I need help with my lawn. Can you help?"

With that line, he's likely to sweep me off my feet!

Have a happy Monday!

Friday, October 16, 2009

The Spinning Stopped

Thank goodness for medicine.

I'm posting one of my favorite pictures.

It keeps me grounded.

Reminds me of what is important in life.

Reminds me to keep things simple.

Once upon a time I spent 10 days in a little village in Mexico.

The homes in the village were made out of dried corn stalks.

There was no electricity or running water.

The kids were happy...without cell phones and ipods and video games.

At 16 years old, my life changed after meeting these kids.

I'm grateful for the experiences I've had.

I Only Have One Thing To Say

I hate vertigo.

Really.

I'm going now, to wait for the world to stop spinning.

Happy Deer Hunt! (If you do that sort of thing.)

Thursday, October 15, 2009

A Confession of Sorts

The sunrise this morning was beautiful! Did you see it?

Because I feel like we're family, and because I feel like I can tell you almost anything, I'm going to tell you something. I'm really hoping that you'll refrain from mocking me - although it's going to be hard. I know because there's a chance I would mock someone else for saying the same thing.

Before I tell you what I've done I want you to know that 70% (at least) of the reason I did what I did was because of you. That's how much I think of you, my readers. You come to my blog to get a good story, and trust me when I tell you, what I've done will give you good stories.

Okay...here it is:

I signed up on an on-line dating site... (and I cringe)

I know, I know...what was I thinking???

I've done this once before and I lasted one month. And in that month I proved to myself that perhaps I'm not cut out for this dating thing.

I'm usually STRONGLY opposed to the on-line thing...not for others, I wish them all the luck in the world. It's just for me that I'm opposed...so I'm not sure what got into me.

Except that I really did think "but the stories you could tell...think of the stories..."

Within 24 hours of signing up I had 23 messages/flirts in my email. (Need to know what a flirt is? It's a message someone sends that says 'you're cute' or 'I'm interested in you' or 'love at first sight'...etc.)

Here's my favorite message so far:

"Well? I'm so sorry you haven't met that guy of your dreams, yet! But I would like to have an opportunity to see if I meet ur expectations?I am laid back and take things as they come, I love the outdoors and especially if its with a special person, maybe like you! I look forward to hearing from you! Let's take the first step towards what could be a great adventure!"

You're jealous aren't you! (Either that or you're hugging your spouse, saying "THANK YOU!"...and you should be.)

I don't know people, I may need my head examined.

I've committed to myself that I will see this through for three months. Get comfy, three months is a lot of story time!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Random Fact About Me

Last year I got pneumonia.

It was not pleasant.

I was sick forever.

When it finally disappeared, I was left with a parting gift.

I can't eat anything spicy without coughing.

The minute spicy food hits my tongue I cough.

It doesn't last long...just one or two little coughs...

Salsa.

Nacho Cheese Doritos.

Any flavored chip actually.

Beef Jerky.

And the list goes on...

I'm afraid it's going to last forever.

Sigh...

At least it gives people something to laugh about.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Paying Bills

The other night a friend told me about a ridiculous $10 fine he got for parking in the wrong spot. He paid the fine - in pennies. His story made me laugh...and think of a bill my dad paid.

Oh so many years ago my parents bought a photo package from Sears. They could get three sittings within a year for the very low price of $_____. (Just make a price up...I don't know it.)

They had one sitting done when they got a notice saying that the photo department of Sears had gone out of business. If I've got the story right, they were supposed to pay for the sittings as they got them. They figured 'no harm done.' They paid for the service they got and then forgot about it.

Sears photo department did not forget about it however.

They continued to bill my parents for the amount owing on the photo shoots they never got.

My dad called, and wrote letters, and called some more, explaining why he didn't owe the money. (My dad has the patience of Job...until it comes to sales people and people who try to swindle him out of money.)

Sears sent nasty threats of collection agencies, and even threatened to have the power shut off.

My dad finally wrote them a check - but it was written on the inside of a steer manure bag.

Did you know that as long as you have an account number and a routing number a check written on anything is valid?

He took a picture of the steer manure bag and sent a note with the check, letting Sears know that if they actually cashed the check he would send a copy of it, along with a letter telling what happened, to every magazine and newspaper he could.

The check was never cashed and he never heard from Sears again.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Meet Ruthie

Ruthie likes to have her picture taken.
The first thing she does when she comes to my office is open my desk drawer and say "cheese."
She's looking for my camera.
I take it out and she runs and stands against the wall.
It's her spot.
She won't ever let me take a candid shot of her.
It's the wall or nothing.









Yesterday we all gathered at my sister's house for dinner.
Ruthie was sitting in a high chair at one end of the table.
Every few minutes she would yell, "Mommy!"
She always yells...even when her mommy is sitting right next to her.
When she yelled her mom's name, her mom would give her more food.
One time she yelled Mommy and wasn't happy with the food choice her mommy gave her.
"Mommy!"
"No Mommy!"
"MOMMY!!!"
We couldn't figure out what she wanted.
We thought it was the taco shells but every time Rachel gave her a taco shell she would whine.
At one point my dad said, "Maybe she wants the last shell in the package."
Rachel took the taco shells out of the box and gave the entire stack to Ruthie.
Ruthie smiled, turned the stack upside down, and bit right into the middle of the bottom shell.
And then she handed the shells back to Rachel and was content to finish her dinner.



Sunday, October 11, 2009

You're Not Going To Believe This

I almost don't believe it...

I took a nap today!

I slept for 2 hours!!!

I slept so soundly I even had a dream!

(For those of you who don't know, sleeping and I don't get along.)

Just wanted you to know...

Friday, October 9, 2009

I'm Drinking Hot Chocolate...What Are You Drinking?

"The saddest thing you'll ever see is a mosquito sucking on a mummy.
Forget it little friend."

...deep thoughts by Jack Handy

Sandra
said she can't remember the last time she laughed. Hopefully that helped.

* * * * *

I actually did my hair today. I know, it surprised me too. ...washed, dried, flat ironed, styled...the works...and I was only 30 minutes late for work. Go me.

So - remember the post where I told you about dad cutting his head open? And the post about me killing my knee? Dad got his stitches out yesterday, and I still can't kneel - at all. Does that seem right? I didn't think so either.

And remember the post about Fernando? I guess he's not coming now. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that when he said he could stay in a hotel I said that would be a good idea. I'll bet me telling him I wasn't going to take 4 days off of work to entertain him might have had something to do with it too. (Don't worry, I was nice about it.) Sorry Bryan, I know you were really looking forward to entertaining him.

I'm hosting my first ever yard sell tomorrow. You should see my living room - I've got piles of stuff I'm going to sell. It's a humorous thing though...me trying to decide how much to charge for all of it. I hold something up and say to my sister, "How much for this?" And then she tells me and I say, "WHAT? That's it?" I'm taking advantage of the nursery's customer base and holding the yard sale at my place of employment. Stop by if you're in the area. I'll have homemade chocolate chip cookies.

And finally...

The best for last...

Here's what happened: a guy driving a BMW walked into the office this morning. He said this to my cousin Travis: "I left my wallet in Park City this morning and I need money for gasoline."
My cousin looked at him and said, "Excuse me?" And he repeated his story. "I need money for gasoline. I left my wallet in Park City."

Travis suggested that the story sounded fishy and the guy said, "I drive a $50,000 BMW. Do you really think I'm trying to cheat you out of money?"

Travis said, "I really don't know. But somehow it wouldn't surprise me." And then Travis gave him a mini speech of sorts...it was rather humorous.

Why he picked here we have no idea. But guess what we have hidden in a back corner of the nursery - a huge tank filled with gasoline.

When Travis offered to give the guy enough fuel to get back to Park City his response was, "It doesn't have oil in it does it?"

Travis said, "You better hope not. But it's either this or nothing. I'm not giving you cash."

So the guy took the fuel and off he went. Strange...

And now I must go in search of cough drops. Have a great Friday people!

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Blogging Business

Yesterday I spent over an hour trying to figure out how to add something to my blog. I clicked copy, and paste, and delete, and save as, and edit html and ... well, you get the idea. But no matter what I did I couldn't make it work.

This morning I called my little sister and said, "Can you help me?" She walked in to my office and said, "What do you want to do?" I told her and she did it - in less than 5 minutes.

I said, "How do you do that? It's not fair that you're so smart. Why can't I be even a little bit smart when it comes to computers?"

She laughed and said, "What I wish is that when you write about this on your blog (she knew I would) you could somehow write it in the same voice you're saying it with."

And then I said, "Don't mock. It's rude." (I'm sick. Remember, 4 hours of camp fire sitting = a cold. And I don't really have a voice, and when I do talk it's interrupted by fits of coughing.)

Anyway...

Because baby sister is so intelligent I'm able to show you the award I got from Jessica!



Isn't it lovely?

With this award I'm supposed to answer the following questions and then pass it on to 5 other blogs. 5 blogs? How am I going to narrow it down to 5? I may get an ulcer during the decision making process.

BUT...I'll do it, because I'm a rule follower. (As far as you know...)

The five people who I'm giving this award to are (in no specific order):

1. Sandra @ sandrasdance - This woman is superwoman. That's what I think. (And Sandra, thanks for the book!!!)

2. Lauriann @ Little Starling Photography - She doesn't know I read her blog. I guess now she will. We went to high school together. She's incredibly talented and her blog always makes me smile.

3. Stephanie @ Laughing At Life's Little Wedgies - I love her blog...and I think if we were to ever actually meet we could be BFFs.

4. Tia @ The Way I See It - Tia is adopting a little boy from Haiti. You should see his pictures.

5. Amy @ Two Scoops. I can't link to her blog because if I do my Internet crashes. (If someone can tell me how to fix that...well, that would be amazing!) BUT...if you click on one of her comments it will take you to her blog. She's great, and I love her.

This is turning in to a really long post. But on to the questions:

1. Where is your cell phone?.... on my desk

2. Your hair? ...... covered by a hat

3. Your mother? ...... heart of gold

4. Your father?..... steady and strong

5. Your favorite food? ...... not seafood

6. Your dream last night?.... don't remember one

7. Your favorite drink?.... Manzana lift - only found in Mexico

8. Your dream/goal? .... I can only have one? To go to Africa

9. What room are you in? ...... my office

10. Your hobby? .... cross stitching

11. Your fear? ..... small spaces

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years?... Costa Rica

13. Where were you last night?.... at home

14. Something you aren't?..... a computer geek

15. Muffins? ..... bagels

16. Wish list item? ...... a piano

17. Where did you grow up?...... Utah

18. Last thing you did?...... talked on the phone

19. What are you wearing? ...... exercise clothes

20. Your TV? ..... the DVR is 27% full

21. Your pets? ......... NOT a pet person

22. Your friends? ...... the best

23. Your life?...... cloudy with a chance of meatballs

24. Your mood? .... is wanting to curl up and sleep a mood?

25. Missing someone? ..... yeah

26. Vehicle? ......4runner

27. Something you're not wearing? ...... lipstick

28. Your favorite store? ....... Barnes & Noble

29. Your favorite color? ...... green or purple

30. When was the last time you laughed? ...... last night

31. Last time you cried? ..... last night

32. Your best friend?...... oh so many

33. One place that I go over and over? ....... the bathroom

34. One person who emails me regularly?....... Tia

35. Favorite place to eat? ....... my mom's house on Sunday

Phew...glad we got that one done.

One more little thing: see how my profile remains ever so blank? It's because I can't think of anything to say. Want to write my profile? Please? Anyone? (Well not anyone...Mr. Woolley might not say nice things...he has that tendency...)

And with that I'm off...Grandma Lucy needs me to call the bank. That will make my day.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Grandpa Wednesday Is Back

One day Grandpa and I were in the kitchen. He was making his dinner of beef and vegetable soup and I was cleaning his sink.

I asked him, "Grandpa, do you have any regrets?"

He thought about it and said, "I have two."

"What are they?"

The first, he said, was that he didn't buy my cousin Bart a hamburger once when he wanted one.

They were driving home from Fountain Green and Bart was hungry. Bart asked if Grandpa would buy him a hamburger and Grandpa said, "No. Let's wait until we get home to eat. Grandma is making us a big dinner"

Bart was killed when he was 18 in a car/train accident. He was close to my grandparents and his death was hard on them.

Grandpa's second regret was that he never took Grandma to Upstate New York. She had always wanted to go.

Isn't that amazing? He was probably 92 when we had that conversation...and in all of his 92 years of living those were his only regrets.

I learned a lot from my grandpa...and I hope to be able to live a life equal to his.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

A Book and A Baseball

I stayed up late last night to finish reading Mitch Albom's newest book: have a little faith. He wrote about his rabbi, and the rabbi's request for Mitch to give his eulogy. It was a heartwarming story, one I would recommend to anyone.

As I finished the book I thought about my own experience with a Jewish rabbi...not nearly as heartwarming, but true.

Brooklyn is an interesting place. I've heard NYC called a melting pot, but it's a melting pot with very distinct borders. On one side of the street you are very much in the 'hood' and on the other side of the street you find yourself in the Jewish neighborhood. As missionaries we didn't work in the Jewish neighborhood - but we did walk through it to get to the other side of the 'hood.'

One day my companion and I were walking quietly through the Jewish neighborhood. It was the Jewish sabbath day and there were many people out, headed to worship in their synagogue.

We passed a school yard where a few kids were playing baseball. The kid up to bat hit the ball over the fence, and across the street, where the ball rolled to a stop by my feet. "Hey, will you throw that ball back to us?" one of kids asked.

"Sure," I said. I picked the baseball up and threw it back to the kids. Except that I didn't throw it far enough. Rather than go over the fence, the baseball hit the fence and bounced back...barely missing the head of a Jewish rabbi who was walking down the street. Really. It was a close call. He gave me a disapproving look and I did my best to shield my name tag with my bag.

My companion snickered and I mumbled, "I can see it now. The headlines in the paper tomorrow will read, 'Mormon missionary kills Jewish rabbi with baseball.'"

I let the rabbi walk to the end of the street before I ran across and threw the baseball back to the boys.

It was then my future was determined: I will not play professional baseball.

Monday, October 5, 2009

I Love A Good Weekend

Saturday night I spent 4 hours sitting around a camp fire...I love camp fires.

We roasted marshmallows and hot dogs, and drank punch from a paint can. (Don't ask. I didn't.)

We were running out of wood and so we called Rodger and said, "Bring logs...and pickles." (Because I really wanted to eat pickles.)

My friend's brother, who I had only met once before, got up and headed off to the trailer. When he came back he brought with him a jar of pickles.

He and I ate the entire jar.

When I got home Becca said, "You stink."

Four hours of camp fire sitting = a cold, but it was well worth it.

Earlier in the day I was cleaning our back patio - getting it ready for winter. I was sporting a hat and some grubby jeans and a sweatshirt. I stopped at my mom's house for something and was greeted by my delightful niece Gabi. She's 4.

She looked me up and down and said, "Noelle, tomorrow when you come to Grandma's house you will look pretty right?" And then she told me just what to wear to guarantee said prettiness.

Every six months our church has a conference that is televised, where we are taught by our leaders. This weekend was that conference. I feel renewed and spiritually fed.

It was a good weekend.

What did you do?

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Cupcakes and Cops

I've only been pulled over once in my life.

I was speeding on Locust Avenue.

When the cop came to my car he said, "Do you know why I pulled you over?"

I said, "Yes sir."

"Why?"

"Because I was speeding on Locust Avenue sir."

"Why were you speeding?"

"Because I'm late for the temple open house sir." (I had to play the piano at the open house.)

He looked at me for a minute and said, "I'll need your license and registration please."

I opened the glove box and said to the cop, "Which one is the registration sir?"

He cracked a smile but then hid it really fast.

He took my information and came back a few minutes later. He handed me my papers and said, "Slow down Noelle." And I said I would, and I drove off without a ticket.

As I drove off I thought, "It's really all your fault that cops even patrol this street Noelle." And it is...here's why:

When we were in grade school, maybe 2nd or 3rd grade, we were walking home one day when someone stopped and offered us a cupcake. We had to walk past the high school every day and I'm sure the person offering us the cupcakes was a high school student. My siblings all said no and walked away at a faster pace. I didn't say no...the cupcakes looked really good! So I took a chocolate cupcake and ate it, and by the time I finished it, my siblings had run the rest of the way home, and tattled on me.

My mom was mad...and I got a lecture of epic proportion. Mom didn't end the situation with the lecture. She called the police station. I don't remember what she said, but I do remember hiding out in the bathroom, listening, and waiting for the dust to settle.

Soon after that conversation I noticed cops on Locust Avenue...every day...and they've been there ever since, hanging out, pulling over anyone who goes over 25 miles an hour.

If you live in my neck of the woods, and you get pulled over on Locust Avenue, I'm sorry okay! I'll never eat another cupcake as long as I live!

Friday, October 2, 2009

The News

I'm taking a break from cleaning the bathroom. In a perfect world I wouldn't have to share a bathroom with men. Actually, in a perfect world I wouldn't have to share a bathroom with anyone. Just thought I would put that out there.

Are you ready for the big news? Are you sure?

It has nothing to do with my love life. Sorry. But while we're on the subject I might as well let you know that this whole business of finding someone you like enough to go out with more than once, and then more than twice, and then more than six months, and then forever...and having it be mutual...that's proving to be much more than what I'm capable of.

I digress.

Okay, here it is...in all of it's big news glory:

I AM BUYING A HOUSE.

And I'm kind of freaking out about it...if I'm being honest. And I am. But it's a beautiful 3 bedroom, 2.5 bath, 2 car garage, BRAND NEW house...one in which I get to pick the paint colors and the tile, and the carpet and the granite counters and the fixtures and the cupboards and...

You get the picture.

But if I'm still being honest I took my little sister with me and said, "You pick the colors and the carpet, and the...everything." And she did. And I told her I would pay her in cookies for her services.

I'd like to thank my parents, and the state and federal government for helping me to make this happen...and for assuring that I'm going to be in the poor house for the next 30 years.

Donations can be sent to _____________. I'm just kidding. (But if you really did want to send a donation...)

You know the pull up jingle: "Mommy, Wow! I'm a big kid now!" That's what I've been singing in my head ever since I signed the contract.

Some day when the house is finished and I get a key I'll take pictures. Until then I'll be making a more conscious effort to pick up the pennies I see on the road.

Oh...and one more thing...in my new house I don't have to share a bathroom with anyone.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

I'm Back!

Happy Birthday!!! Oh wait...that already happened...in Disneyland. As far as birthday locations go, Disneyland is not half bad. Did you know that Sept. 28, our birthday, is also a Jewish holiday? We didn't until we asked a nice lady in the Toy Story line, "Why is it so crowded today?" That's when we learned about the Jewish holiday, and that most of California didn't have school. We ALWAYS manage to plan our vacation around California's vacations. Silly girls.

Speaking of Toy Story...have you been on the newest ride in California Adventure? I would highly recommend it. We stood in the 40 minute line 5 TIMES - that's how much we enjoyed it.


We didn't take many pictures on account of our hair being wet half the time. Did you know if you ride a water ride with Becca by your side, you will get at least twice as wet as you would otherwise? True story.

My desk is piled high with stuff to catch up on...and my email is full of emails to read...and the blogs I've missed...oh my!

So rather than bore you with details of Disneyland I will go and try to organize my life once again.

Tomorrow's blog is sure to dazzle...maybe...if I come up with something dazzling to say!

OH....and ONE MORE THING...none of you guessed what my big news is...maybe that's what I'll tell you tomorrow.

Have a happy day people!