Monday, April 19, 2010

Hate Mail...Kinda Sorta

Remember my Happy Anniversary post-it-note post from last week?

I got this comment in response:

"Buy the book 'Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands' by the great Dr. Laura. (She can be a little whacked, but on this she is correct!
She'd kick your behind for not cooking dinner, especially if he cooks breakfast.
All guys, even nice guys like him (Jason), only take not being appreciated for so long.
Life, marriage and even companionships, are a 2 way street. I didn't notice in your Post It Note Style what you do for him..."

I have a pretty good inclination of who wrote this...and if I'm right I just roll my eyes and shake my head...

The comment came AFTER I cooked Jason, and my entire family, dinner. See, I didn't say I never fixed dinner, I just said my husband didn't care if I didn't.

And of course I didn't say what I do for him...for a couple of reasons: I'll never write on this blog the things I might do for Jason...because seriously, who really wants to say "look at all of the good things I do for my husband" AND because it was a list of the reasons I'm grateful for him.

BUT...lest you think I don't take all comments seriously...even the comments that make me roll my eyes...I had a conversation with Jason last night.

"Jason, am I not appreciative enough? Do you doubt that I appreciate and love you?"

And then he rolled his eyes.

This morning as I was getting ready for work Jason said, "Do you want anything for breakfast?"

And with a mouthful of toothpaste I replied, "No, I don't think so. I wouldn't want you to feel unappreciated."

He put the milk and the cereal on the table anyway...right next to some fruit.

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

I sure hope you don't think it was me making that absurd "appreciate your husband" comment. I haven't commented on your blog since I went dark oh so long ago. And then I came back three months later and find all these strange comments about getting married. I know one thing about you, girl, you don't let any grass grow under your feet.

I do come back once a week to catch up on all your doings. And you are such a GOOD writer (very good, have you ever considred becomming an author) I really enjoy reading your blog.

But I would never suggest you are unappreciative. Maybe a little crazy sometimes, but never unappreciative. Just keep a butcher knife under you pillow. Jason could be an ax murderer you know.

Dave Woolley (because I don't want to input one more goofy id number. Or maybe I just can't remember mine. either way. This is anonymous)

Noelle said...

Mr. David G Woolley...as I live and breathe.

A comment AND a compliment...what's the occasion???

You gonna stay in the dark forever?

How's your mom? Your garden? The food storage?

Your writing?

Cheeseboy said...

Is Dr. Laura still alive?

If Dr. Laura and Dr. Phil had a child, would it grow up to as stupid as I think it would be?

Amy said...

Listen. If there's one thing I know about marriage (cuz you know....I'm a pro at this marriage business) it's that if you're both happy you're probably doing it right.

So while one person's (anonymous) experience tells them that a wife cooking dinner for a husband is the right way to show your appreciation, love and undying devotion; another person's (Noelle) experience may tell them that brushing their teeth in the morning or braving angel's landing despite vertigo is the right way to show your appreciation, love and undying devotion.

Just sayin'.

Loralee and the gang... said...

I read that post-it post. It never occurred to me that you didn't appreciate your husband just because he doesn't care if you make him dinner. He obviously has other priorities! (You are NEWlyweds after all!)

Anonymous said...

I dont like that book at all, I tried to keep an open mind when attempting to read it but it didnt work. It is very old fashion and just goes on and on about how we should be indentured servants to our husbands. I'm all about serving one another, but she makes it sound like we should be on our knees every night taking their boots off and massaging their feet in order to have a happy house hold. Dr Laura- blah blah!! Cassie

Sandra said...

Just this morning I told my kids that someday Dave would update his blog and I would faint. Good thing I didn't say make a comment on someone's blog or I would be on the floor right now and not able to say that I am so glad you are happy AND found a good man.

Joann Mannix said...

Dr Laura? Really now. I wouldn't take advice from that miserable hack if she was the last person on this earth. Take a look at her personal life and see how well her shrillness worked out for her.

Let me tell you something, girl. I have been married to my husband for 23 years. He is our cook. AND I am a stay at home mom. We don't count up the "things" we do for each other. We just appreciate each other for the sake of us. He just said to me as he called me on the way home to see if he could do the grocery shopping for me, since he knew I had a busy day, "I'm so glad we have each other."

There are no assigned roles in this marriage, just the biological ones. Everything else is just kindness. Something Dr. Laura and your commenter seem to know nothing about.

Bossy Betty said...

My husband doesn't care if I cook him dinner but it sort of bothers him when I put on my thong bikini and cook for the neighbor guy.

Wonder what Dr. Laura would say to that?

Christina said...

It was me. You really suck at this wife thing. Jeez.
;)
xoxo

Mr. Thompson and Me said...

On the floor laughing...

with tears!

You got me - it was me who made the comment.

(and just for the record...I don't cook for my husband either!)

TJ said...

you better not read fascinating womanhood. dr. laura pales in comparison to helen andelin.

observation: blogs are such TINY window into someones life. we readers think we know someone just by reading their blog, when we only know the little part they care to share. try not to let those types of comments bother you too much.

Kate said...

Oh I LOVE passive aggressiveness. It's always the classy approach.

Jamie said...

MISS YOU!

jealous of Jason...hs sees you all the time! (no-offense, jason...I do like you)

I wish I was Samantha on Bewitched (1970's TV show...just checking)cause, then I could twinkle my nose and pop over (asking first of course)and then I would no longer be jealous of ALL THE PEOPLE IN UT!!!

I'm JUST sayin'

adrienzgirl said...

Good Golly Miss Molly! Apparently whomever left that comment doesn't read your blog on a regular basis. WE (regular readers) all KNOW how much you love and appreciate your sweetheart. WE also know how much he adores you.

LOVE!

Anonymous said...

Let me see. Food storage. We ate a lot, but we're restocking so that's good. I sent my mom to Idaho for a month while I finished remodeling her home. New floors (carpet, wood witha killer stain, tile in the bathrooms with heated elements underneath to keep her little toeseys warm). Every wall has been painted, tiled, all the electrical redone, new furnishingings, the lighting, cabinets, backsplashes and remote control lighting in the kitchen turned out the best along with a killer valance over the kitchen window. There are grip rails everywhere and lots of wood flooring so she doesn't trip. And wouldn't you know it. The third day back she breaks her good foot. So I've been carrying her everywhere. She started walking yesterday for the first time and was very, very grateful to be mobile again. So we're just finishing up a few ditties with electrical work and such and then I'm done with remodeling for this life.

The garden will be coming up pretty soon. Gotta get more pansies. They didn't do the winter thing very well this time around. I'm never going back to that nursery ever again. Winter kill. Yikes.

The book is almost done. Really close. Just gotta drop a compass off in front of Lehi's tent and we're good to go.

Keep up the wifery thing. Sounds like you're doing a very good job.

DGW

Tiffany said...

He's ba-ack!

I wondered if your annonymous critique artist might be the infamous instigator, Mr. Woolley.

Welcome back to the land of the living monsieur! It has been too long.

And he's right... you are a wonderful writer Noelle. I second that emotion D dub.

Kara said...

Visiting from BlessedQuiver. Will be following now. Love your blog :)

reedless said...

Noelle,
I read Dr. Laura's book and found it to be insightful, helpful and "right on the money." It really was amazing how she even uses my phrasing and terminology.I even gave it to my married daughter to read. Then one day I woke up to the realization that this book only applied to selfish men. I didn't want to be a selfish man anymore! I immediately called my daughter and asked her to throw it in the trash where it belongs.
There are some truly wonderful books out there to help bone heads like me with marriage relationships, but this is not one of them. Hope this helps clear things up. (from a mans perspective) Call me, I will give you some "good" titles.

Feeling Just Right said...

I don't like the sound of this anonymous person at all. I go away a week and this is what turns out?

Don't care about him Noelle- you're a gem!