Wednesday, May 12, 2010

I Hate Powdered Sugar

There's a reason people...

A reason I do my best to stay out of the kitchen...

A reason that I'm only assigned dessert, salad, or Jell-O for our Sunday dinners...

Except when I'm in charge of the main meal...

And then there's a reason my sister usually helps me, or I make something simple like tacos.

Good tacos to be sure...but still tacos.

The reason might have something to do with that one time...on Thanksgiving...when I clogged the kitchen sink so bad we had to bring a hose in from outside, and turn the water on full force to dislodge the clog...that was pleasant.

The reason might have to do with that other time...when Mom was in Brazil and I had to fix dinner for a group of friends...including the boy I was head over heels in love with at the time...
Mom didn't have cell phone service and I needed her in the worst way! My Auntie Judy came to the rescue and talked me through my failed dinner attempt...bless her heart...except only bless her heart a little bit because she sure used that failed dinner attempt to tease me...

The reason might have something to do with that other other time...when I put a hot pan of the BEST batch of caramel brownies I've ever made on top of the stove...not realizing that my sister...bless her heart too...had left a burner on. That pan exploded in less than 10 seconds and there were glass shards and caramel from the kitchen to next door. Oh...the mess...

That's a good reason...

In my mind I'm a world class chef...

In my mind I can make anything...

With any recipe...

What am I thinking?

My mom called me yesterday and said, "Remember how you love me a lot?"

"Yes Mom, I remember."

"I keep forgetting that I volunteered you for something."

"What did you volunteer me for?"

And in my head I just knew it was to teach a gardening class for the group of women in her church...thankfully that wasn't it.

"I told E that you would make cookies for Tiffany's bridal shower Thursday night."

(E is my mom's across the street neighbor and one of my favorite people...Tiffany is my sister.)

"Sure Mom, I can make cookies."

And I can...make cookies...really really really good cookies...just ask anyone.

My mom requested homemade Oreos.

I stopped at her house tonight to get the recipe and she and dad were unloading a bunch of rocks from the back of my dad's truck.

Because my dad...he collects rocks...but that's another story.

Mom said, "We're in a hurry because dad is going hiking with the kids from church tonight."

"OH! Can I go too?" I asked my dad. Because you all know I love hiking.

He said yes.

But then I remembered the cookies.

So instead of hiking I made a double batch of homemade Oreo cookies.

All was going according to schedule: I had a batch of cookies in the oven, a load of laundry in the washer, the back patio swept off, and the butter at room temperature to make the icing.

I used the biggest bowl for the icing...

I know all about how messy powdered sugar can be.

I stirred the powdered sugar with the cream cheese and butter with a spoon before using the hand mixer.

Because remember, I know all about how messy powdered sugar can be.

I took the first pan of cookies out of the oven only to realize one thing:

It's cloudy out...

And did you know that when it's cloudy out cookies come out of the oven flatter than they would on a sunny day?

THAT is a true fact.

And the fact that I know that...that should tell you that when it comes to making cookies...I'm good.

Oh well...flat homemade Oreo cookies still taste good.

I put the second batch of cookies in the oven and pulled out the hand mixer.

Now...

This isn't your run-of-the-mill, every day kind of hand mixer.

Oh no...

This is a Cuisine Art hand mixer.

One that my sister covets.

I know because she told me so.

It happens to be Jason's favorite kitchen appliance and up until tonight, it was one of mine.

I put that ever-so ridiculously expensive hand mixer into the pre-mixed bowl of icing and turned it on.

And then...

Oh...

People...

It was as if a giant snowball the size of Rhode Island dropped from the sky and landed in my kitchen.

Within 1.5 seconds I had chunks of powered cream cheese EVERYWHERE...

In every corner...

On every surface...

In my shoes...

Shoes that were on the other side of the room...

Trust me people...I squealed...loud.

But no, I did not swear. No Mom, I really didn't. Not even in my head. I didn't even spell it out... (sometimes I spell the word instead of say it)

And while the cookies continued to bake, batch after stupid batch, I cleaned up powdered sugar...

It took me through half of an episode of Mercy (commercials included) and the majority of Criminal Minds before I had it all cleaned up.

Mom and E will have their cookies for the bridal shower tomorrow night...

But I'm telling you...

I should have gone hiking.

10 comments:

Joann Mannix said...

That is ever so funny!

I could just see your sugary snowstorm now! Was it in your hair?

My sisters and I all love to bake, but my one sister has never been good at it. But, she tried time and time again to bake. It just never worked out for her. The cookies were always flat and overdone or the cake didn't rise. But, there was this one time, I came home from work and there was this beautiful chocolate cake on the counter. Everyone was so excited for her, because she'd finally done it. We made a big production about cutting into it and then we all took a bite...and spit it out. She'd put in a cup of salt instead of a teaspoon. Poor girl.

But, even with my love of baking, I'd be with you. I'll take hiking over just about anything else, any day.

Bossy Betty said...

I think a kitchen actually looks better with a little powdered sugar all over it!!!

Tiff said...

You are sooo nice to make those for my bridal shower. And thank you for being so good to me. I sure love you lots!

Platt Lucky 7 said...

Hahahaha laughing so hard I can't even type!!!!! :)

Venassa said...

That is too funny. I tend to have the same kind of luck when baking. Homemade oreo cookies sound like they'd be so good.

Kristie said...

Best story EVER!

Sandra said...

Oh, Noelle!! I'm sorry I am laughing.

Feeling Just Right said...

Owww! Poor you, Noelle! I am so sorry about that giant snowball.

The cloudy day and flat cookie part has me very impressed! You are so cool to be able to make cookies! The only thing i can cook is 2 minute noodles in 4 minutes in the microwave. Really. And that is a feat. Oh no no, i can also make coffee, the way i like it, but i can. Sad that not too many others like it :-( Oh whatever.

Tiffany- you're a lucky girl. You know by now that i love this sister of yours and her blog, don't you?

p.s. you are officially allowed to wish me a happy birthday today. I am 24! Yippee!

p.p.s. i want a cookie.

Benjamin said...

I agree with Kristie, one of the best stories so far.

jayayceeblog said...

Oh my gosh, I can just picture it. What a nightmare! I found a delightful blog earlier (and of course I can't remember the name of it right this second) but the mom says "God Bless America" instead of bad words. Maybe that would help!