Wednesday, May 19, 2010


I've never had a drop of alcohol in my life.

It's against my religion.

Really, it is. I'm not just using that as an excuse.

If someday I were to switch religions (which I won't) and all of a sudden alcohol was okay, I still wouldn't drink it.

The reason: I can barely drink a Coke...and by barely, I mean BARELY.

I wasn't feeling too well yesterday: headache, upset stomach...

Did you know Coke can cure those two symptoms? It can. I drank it, and it did.

But then I was awake into the wee hours of the morning because of the caffeine. I was thinking about my blog and what I was going to write today.

As I was cursing myself for drinking the Coke I thought of that one time...

That one time where I might almost have had one drop of alcohol...

It went like this:

Wait...before I tell you how it went I want to tell you this. The sunrise this morning is beautiful! That's all.

You know that I lived in Mexico. Unless you didn't know, but now you do. I lived in Mexico once.
One of the reasons I loved living in Mexico as much as I did was named Juan.

(Juan is the big guy to the left.)

Juan and his family took me into their home and loved me like their own...they still love me like their own.

A few weeks ago I talked to Juan on the phone and he said, "So Guera, when do I get to meet my new son-in-law?"

I spent my days hanging out with either Juan or his wife Ana. One morning Juan said, "Guera, it's time to go or we're going to be late."

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"We have to go to Dolores Hidalgo and it's a two hour drive. Let's go."

This was the first time I had heard that we were going to take a road trip but I was happy to go.

We drove up a lush mountain pass and at the end of two hours ended up at a beautifully quaint little town:

Juan met with the people he was supposed to meet with, delivered the important papers he was supposed to deliver, and then we walked around the town while Juan told me it's history.

After about 30 minutes of walking Juan said, "I'm hungry. Let's eat."

We walked into a restaurant and sat down. I love restaurants in Mexico: the colors, the decorations, the birds flying around, the mariachi bands playing...I even love the food. Juan handed me a menu and said, "Order whatever you want."

I don't remember what I ordered to eat but I ordered bottled water to drink and Juan chewed me out.

"Guera, you're in Mexico. Live a little...order something good to know, like a cerveza." (And for those of you who don't know, cerveza is beer.)

Juan happens to be the same religion I am and as it turns out, he doesn't drink alcohol either...he just liked to tease me about drinking it.

I ordered a lemonade instead.

We talked, Juan harassed, and finally our meal arrived.

I took a big bite of whatever it was I ordered and realized that I had forgotten to ask for no salsa. The salsa in Mexico can kill me...really...if I eat more than one bite.

I started coughing, Juan started laughing, and I took a drink of my lemonade. But just one drink because it tasted really funny.

I continued to eat my meal but didn't take another drink of the lemonade.

Juan noticed and asked, "Guera, is something wrong with the lemonade?"

I nodded and said, "I think it has alcohol in it."

Juan rolled his eyes and said, "Give me your lemonade."

I handed my glass goblet full of lemonade to Juan and watched as he took a big swallow.

He started to laugh and didn't stop for a good four minutes...all the while I'm just sitting there trying my best not to laugh too. I didn't have a clue why he was laughing but his laugh was contagious.

Finally when he could talk Juan said, "Guera that's not alcohol...the lemonade is made with seltzer water."

Ohhhh... the heck was I to know they made lemonade with seltzer water?

Juan ordered me another lemonade, without the seltzer water, and we finished our lunch...

But not in peace...

Juan laughed at me through the entire meal...during the walk back to the car...and all the way down that same mountain pass...and when we walked into the front door of his house he started laughing again and yelled, "Ana, where are you? I have a story to tell you about the Guera."


Bossy Betty said...

Great story! Ummm....I gave some on my kids some lemonade I bought at a restaurant once and it DID had alcohol in it! I didn't know! Thank goodness they only took a sip.

Mr. Thompson and Me said...

Made me laugh! Because it reminded me....

About the time I was in Mexico and convinced a girl...who is the same religion as order a most delicious sangria.

Unfortunately, I wasn't with her and she came home drunker than a skunk.

That wasn't the sangria I was talking about.

Dominguez Family said...

Instead of Coke you could try Ginger Ale. That really helped calm my stomach when I was pregnant. Also, eat ginger snap cookies.

Tiffany said...

Innocence is highly underrated. Way to be vigilant on avoiding the hooch!

jayayceeblog said...

That's a great story. How nice to spend time with people who know how to laugh!!!

Joann Mannix said...

What a wonderful story. And you know what, I could see the mistake because seltzer water is just yuuuuucky.

I do drink wine, really just wine not much of anything else, but I also cannot stomach soda of any kind. I never have been able to, it's just too fizzy.

Oh, and I'm Catholic and I think it is against our religion NOT to drink.

Isn't that wonderful how this blog world can bring us together when in the real world, we may have never crossed paths with our differences? And now, look at us and our good bloggy friendship. *Sigh* I just love that.

Anonymous said...

Oooh, i got some alcohol lessons here. I'm looking at Betty's comment and thinking which nut serves kids alcohol??

No alcohol for me too- high five on that!

This reminds me (i'm starting to get into my chatter like i'm talking to you in person now) i read so many blogs of people from this place Utah. They all seem to be Mormon. (i confess, i hadn't heard of the word before) but now i know a lot about what you guys must abide by. Nice. I like it. It kind of blends with my culture. Why am i telling you? I've been meaning to mention this to you ever since you wrote about your wedding. So, now you know. (eyes twinkling)

I like the sound of Juan esp the "when do i get to meet my new son-in-law part"! God bless him :)

Kate said...

What a gorgeous picture of that town. I love Mexico! My hubby went to Veracruz on his mission.

Also, never say never. ;) Awww just kidding. Don't let me be a bad influence on you.