Saturday, May 22, 2010

A Pretend Interview

"Thank you so much Jason for taking the time to talk with us today."

"It's my pleasure actually. I would do anything for Noelle and her blog."

"You and Noelle have been married for how long?"

"A blissful two and a half months."

"Blissful...wow, congratulations!"

"Yes, thank you."

"The reason we wanted to interview you was because of a story floating around bloglandia. We would love for you to clear some things up for us."

"Of course. What would you like to know?"

"We have heard from an incredibly reliable source that you are a spy. Can you confirm this?"

"No, I am not a spy. I thought about being a spy once but when I realized I would never have the recognition that Jack Bauer does I gave up the dream."

"If you don't mind my asking, who is Jack Bauer?"

"WHO is Jack Bauer? He's the main star of the hit TV show 24. It will be a sad day for me when that show ends."

"Oh...I see...well then, let's get back to the interview shall we? If you aren't a spy can you tell us what you do for a living?"

"I sell really cool stuff."

"Really cool stuff. Can you be more specific?

"I sell high end outdoor gear."

"Outdoor gear...oh of course. Like those lovely plastic pink flamingos we see on so many lawns. Do you sell the clothing for the ceramic geese that you see all over the east coast as well?"

"No...nothing like that. I sell GEAR. You know, backpacks, tents, sleeping bags, mattresses, head lamps, snowshoes, anything you would need for an adventure in the back country."

"Interesting. I thought perhaps with the invention of RV's and hotels, people would lose interest in things like outdoor gear."

"On the contrary. We have a very large customer base."

"And who do you sell this gear to?"

"Our territory covers Utah, Wyoming, New Mexico, Nebraska, and part of Colorado."

"And you live in Utah?"

"Yes, with my beautiful wife."

"So you must have to travel quite a bit?"

"Yes, especially during the spring months. I won't be finished traveling until sometime the end of June. I'll be home a few days here and there, but for the most part I'll be traveling."

"Oh...your poor wife. Doesn't she get lonely?"

"Yes she does. In fact she recently sent me the most endearing email telling me how much she missed me."

"And what does your wife think about what you sell?"

"She likes to hike and camp. I'm guessing she'll benefit quite a bit because of my job. I gave her a brand new backpack and air mattress for Christmas. I think she's excited to try them out this summer."

"That's nice. Do you have a lot of gear?"

"I don't think so, but the rest of the world would. I believe a person can't have too much gear."

"Interesting. So if you had to guess, how many backpacks would you say you have?"

"Maybe 16 or 17."

"And tents?"

"Well you can't just count total number of tents. You have to put them in categories...according to how many people they hold and where you'll be using them...things like that."

"Okay but for us simple folk, just give us an idea."

"Probably 12."

"12...that's a lot of tents. Do you have sleeping bags too?"

"Of course...at least one in every temperature range. And as a side note would you like to know something that convinced me I should marry Noelle?"

"Please..."

"She has two sleeping bags. Two really nice sleeping bags. Not just any girl owns two really nice sleeping bags."

"A girl after your own heart it would seem."

"I never thought I would find someone like her."

"Where was your first date?"

"At an REI in Salt Lake City. REI is a high end gear shop. We spent three hours taking a tour of the store. I showed her everything we sell...down to the utensils and foldable bowls."

"And she wasn't bored?"

"Of course not."

"Amazing."

"Where do you keep all of your gear?"

"All of my jackets are in my closet, and the rest of my gear is in a storage unit."

"All of your jackets? How many is all?"

"Somewhere between 48 and 52. Noelle counted them but she may have missed a few."

"By the way, what does your family think of Noelle?"

"I imagine they're just grateful that I have her to talk gear talk with. I think they got tired of it a long time ago."

"We don't want to take any more of your time, but we do have one more question. Would you rather be a spy?"

"No. I love what I do and I'm happy. I wouldn't change it for anything in the world. Actually, now that I'm married I would change one thing. I wish that I could be home at night with my wife."

"Yes I'm sure...you're lucky that she's patient and understanding."

"And she's hot. Don't forget that important piece of information."

"Of course she is. Thank you again for your time."

(It used to be that when I was bored I watched TV or read a book...now I just blog. Lucky you ... or maybe not.)

12 comments:

-stephanie- said...

I believe this could be a real interview. It gave me a chuckle or three.

Feeling Just Right said...

I'm actually tempted even MORE now to believe our extremely reliable source. This spy knows he's got to cover his tracks. Yup, that is exactly what i think this is!

52 jackets, huh? and you thought we'd be fooled? I know exactly what the tents are for too!

We, at bloglandia, have your pretty wife under our spell; so you had better spill all or.. you know.. you aren't really around all spring to protect this damsel, are you?

Cheeseboy said...

Ha ha! Great stuff.

REI on a first date? It WAS meant to be. Cabellas be darned!

Chuck is a cooler spy than Jack anyway.

Mr. Stupid said...

This was funny. It could have been a real Interview. Its funny how wannabe spies talk! hehe

acte gratuit said...

Gear. My husband would LOVE to have that much gear! I would love it too, but I would NOT love storing it.

:)

Can't wait to get back to the states and visit REI again. Good times, good times!

Kate said...

Very cute!!

Loralee and the gang... said...

you're so funny! And I am surprised that you ONLY have two sleeping bags!

Amy said...

I like Jason. And Interviewer.

Tortuga said...

Hehe, that was a great "interview" what a nice hubby. He speaks so highly of you!

Outdoor gear eh? I love outdoor gear!

Venassa said...

It's nice to learn a bit about Jason. Loved the pretend interview.

Joann Mannix said...

Oh, I'm kind of feeling a little deflated that he's not a spy. But, it sounds like he represents very manly products, so that's a trade-off.

I'm very impressed with the 2 sleeping bags. I do not own a single one and I'm kind of afraid of tents. They represent camping. Brrrrrr.

Jason said...

What a great interview! The interviewer seemed a little ditsy, but all in all it went well, especially the comment about my wife being hot. That was best part of the interview if you ask me. And yes I really do have all the gear she mentioned. I know you're all jealous...