The day before we left for our vacation I was sitting in my doctor's office.
The same doctor I've had forever. Well, not forever, but for as long as I can remember.
I imagine that he'll retire any day now, and then I'll go into a period of mourning.
The first thing he said after he sat down was, "Is your husband treating you well? You tell him if he's not I'll hunt him down."
And then he said, "So, why are you here?"
I told him that it was his responsibility to make me better. He is the doctor after all.
"What's wrong with you?"
I asked him if he wanted the short list or the long list. He settled into his stool and asked, "That bad is it?"
And then I gave him my list of complaints:
-I have zero energy
-If I don't eat every three hours I get so sick I think I'm going to die
-I'm nauseated every single day of my life
-Did I mention I have no energy?
-I've been dizzy every day for the last 10 days...oh and by the way, I need a new prescription for my dizzy pills
-I can't even go for a hike with Jason without feeling like I'm going to pass out
I'm sure the list went on...I had a sympathetic ear there.
"Has it occurred to you that you might be pregnant?" my doctor asked.
"You would think I was...considering I've got all of the symptoms...but BOTH tests I've taken have said I'm not."
(I didn't mention that just a few days before, my hairdresser told me about her friend's cousin's sister-in-law who took three different tests that told her she wasn't pregnant...and she was.)
My doctor decided to do two tests: a pregnancy test and a hearing test. The reason for the pregnancy test was obvious, and the hearing test was to see if my hearing has decreased since the last time he did the test a year ago. Dizzy spells like mine are usually accompanied by hearing loss...and if it's a significant loss they will diagnose me with a disease...one that they can't do anything about...so the diagnosis seems irrelevant.
After the nurses did their tests I waited until my doctor came back in. "You're not pregnant and you haven't had any hearing loss."
'And so you're going to fix me how?' That's what I wanted to say. Instead I just waited for him to finish his thought process.
"It would seem that you and your birth control don't get along very well. In fact, it would seem that every single one of your symptoms is caused by the birth control...except the dizziness...and well... for that...here's a new prescription for your medication."
As for the other he suggested I try Plan B as soon as possible...'because as long as you're on this pill you're going to feel this way.' He gave me plenty of options for Plan B...and told me the one he would recommend in my situation...my fingers are crossed. And so are Jason's.
After I had been off the medication for two days Jason said, "I can tell a difference in you."
"Oh...you mean I'm smiling and happy and can walk more than 10 steps without needing to take a nap? That kind of difference?"
My sister...bless her heart...she said, "You might have to warn Jason that he doesn't really know the real you." 'What is the real me?' I asked in my mind. She continued, "You know, you've never been as...well...ornery as you have been the last few months...well maybe not ornery, just emotional.'
I suggested she quit before she was in so far she couldn't dig out.
I woke up yesterday and thought, "I want to go hiking." And that friends...that is a big improvement...and today when my sister asked, "Noelle, will you hike Mt.Timpanogos with me?" I didn't crumble into a ball of tears at the mere idea...I said, "Yeah, maybe."
A letter to my doctor:
If this lasts...this phase I'm in where I actually feel human again...you'll be my hero forever.
And just one more little thing:
Tonight after dinner we were talking and out of the blue my mom said, "Why is the dishwasher running? We haven't put anything in it yet."
Trouble was walking through the kitchen at the time and casually mentioned, "I did it. Yep, I did it," and then she went to join her sisters in watching a movie.