Tuesday, July 6, 2010

My Life Is Blesed

I love comments. It's true. Nothing makes me laugh harder than the comments I get. Like this one from yesterday's post:

Lord Have Mercy, Noelle! I keep thinking you're pregnant .... so that better be one gorgeous hair do! And then I thought you were losing weight and were excited by 195 but ... why would you want to be at 200? I get it ... followers!

Somebody give the girl a baby and 5 more followers already! LOL!

Beth dear, if it makes you feel any better, my husband thought I was pregnant too...and he knew better than to think that!

I'm going to be serious in this post.

Yes I am. Really.

It's because I've had something on my mind...something that I want the world to know...and YOU, blogging friends, are my world.

But wait...something not serious. Jason loves The Simpsons. I hate it. However, I'm sitting in bed using his laptop, and I told him he could watch it because I'm busy focusing on my serious post. Dang me...I just laughed at something one of the Simpsons said. I'm never going to hear the end of it.

Now...back to the serious post.

A year ago at this time I was in the process of ending a year and a half relationship...a relationship that from the beginning was flawed...a relationship I knew would end badly. I stayed because I felt that I needed to. Maybe it was for me, maybe it was for him, maybe it was for both of us...I'll never know entirely.

I cried more in that year and a half than I have my entire life. I was hurt more in that year and a half than I've ever been hurt. I learned more about myself than I would have in any other way.

I didn't say much about it on my blog...only alluded to being hurt. I couldn't write about it. I didn't want to write about it. And to those I was closest to I tried to explain it. It wasn't that I was hurt that the relationship ended...as I said previously, I knew it would. What hurt was the way it ended...the way he treated me...the way he acted as if I had never been more to him than a passerby. And for months after I felt as if I were living in a never-ending nightmare, and I couldn't wake up entirely. I worried that my heart would never recover.

It did recover. Because of Jason. I was scared...to say the least. What if he treated me the same way? What if I loved him more than he loved me? For a time I kept a part of my heart guarded...I couldn't go through the hurt again.

Yesterday Jason asked me, "Are you happy?" and I told him I was. He said, "That's all I want in my life. For you to be happy." It was then that I realized that Jason has filled every crack in my heart...and he's filled them to overflowing.





18 comments:

Feeling Just Right said...

Awww... bless this guy, Jason!

I'll tell you something. Just yesterday, I was watching something on TV with Mum. The girlfriend of one of the contestants on Indian Idol had come onto the show. Of course, everyone cheered and there was even a ring exchanged.

I wondered how people can love so much. I know something inside of me has changed ever since I've gone through my bad phase last year. I won't ever let myself feel so vulnerable. So, I can imagine what you went through.

Just then, I even wondered about Jason and you, Baby Sister and the boyfriend... I love that you guys are so happy. It's nice to read about.

That last line you say, makes me so happy for you. So very very happy.

God bless you both :)

Mary said...

I'm glad your heart has been healed. :)

Kristin said...

Wow, I cannot tell you how much this post hits home for me. I am working on somehting like this for myself actually planning to post it in the next couple of days. Thank you for your honesty and for being real.

Kimber said...

Friend, I'm so glad that Jason has filled the cracks because you have an extraordinary heart.

Diana said...

What a beautiful post! There is nothing more comforting than finding that person just for you. That makes you feel safe, loved, and happy. I can relate to the same kind of former relationship... and now having exactly what I wanted and needed.
Love your blog!

Heather said...

That is the sweetest thing I have ever heard.
You are blessed to have such a kind husband. I am glad you found each other.

Dazee Dreamer said...

What a sweet, sweet man that Jason is.

I'm glad that you are out of that relationship. Guys like that are even more "hurtful" if there is marriage and kids involved.

And, ummmm, Noelle, where is the picture? You took us all down the "oh she's pregnant" road, and we don't even get to see the cute new haircut. (tear, tear)

Joann Mannix said...

Hi!!! This is me waving to you from Chicago! I'm on vacation with my family who never ever sit still and so I haven't had a moment to say hi to anyone.

I'm so excited you're almost up to the big 200. Way to go! And I'm even more excited you have your wonderful husband. Blessings, indeed.

Ok, back to crazed vacation! Have a wonderful week.

jason said...

So sweet Noelle, I am so happy for you. Thanks for sharing.-Cassie

wjmom said...

I have blog-stalked you several times through my friend Amy (Two Scoops), including when you and Jason started dating. How happy am I to hear that you are married?

And since you are looking for more followers, I will stop stalking you and just start following. You don't mind, do you?

I think this brings you to 198.

198 followers and a wonderful husband--how much better can life get?

Judie said...

You're been holding your breath, and now you can breath! How great is that?

Amber said...

Oh my heck that was so DANG cute. Congrats. Talk to you later.

jayayceeblog said...

Just the fact that he asked you if you were happy says volumes about him and his beautiful heart. Glad you found each other!

Nikki said...

I'm sorry you had to go through such a terrible relationship. It's a hard thing to recover from. It makes Jason seem even better, doesn't it? I'm so glad you found someone wonderful.

Baby Sister said...

And for that reason I will be eternally grateful that you found him and married him. :)

Thanks for making me cry.

Venassa said...

I got a little teary reading that. It really sounds like you two have an amazing relationship.

Cheeseboy said...

Jason sounds like a stud. The fact that he loves the Simpsons just one ups his stud-hood.

Wait, I am so confused. Are you pregnant or not? I'm guessing yes.

Beth Zimmerman said...

That, Noelle, is beautiful! I'm delighted that you have found Jason, healing and happiness! Because I think you were meant to be a happy girl!