Wednesday, August 25, 2010

A Sad Story

I slept for a really long time.
I feel better.

I've got a story to tell you.
It's not the happily ever after kind of story.
Pop yourself some microwave popcorn and get comfortable.
I'll try to keep it short.

I have an aunt who has 7 kids.  After 6 of her kids were born, and all were still fairly young, her husband died from a heart surgery gone haywire.
It was tragic.
After many years of being alone and doing her best to raise her kids, my aunt remarried and had one more child, a daughter.
My aunt's second husband had some severe mental issues that he wouldn't treat, and after several rough years my aunt divorced her husband.
My aunt remarried a third time.  And then after a while divorced her third husband.  He wasn't as nice as we all thought he was.
Somewhere in the middle of her third marriage my aunt's oldest son who was my age, was killed in a train/automobile accident.  It was awful...and horrific...and has left all of us with a healthy fear of train tracks.

My aunt's 5 oldest kids suffered as a result of their turbulent life, and have struggled with drugs, and alcohol, and bad marriages, and some have spent time in jail, and one has lost her children as a result of her bad choices.  None of them graduated from high school.

My aunt's youngest daughter spent her whole life fighting against the trends set by her older siblings.  She went to church on Sundays, and avoided all addictive substances, and studied hard and graduated from high school, and got a good job, and had plans to go to college.  She met a boy and fell in love and got pregnant.  She was upset with herself.  I remember her saying on more than one occasion, "I am no different than my siblings."  She and the boy got married and she was determined to 'make her life right again.' 

6 weeks ago my cousin and her husband and their baby daughter were sealed in the Idaho Falls Temple.  (By being sealed in an LDS Temple, we believe that we will be with our families forever, not just until death do us part.  For members of my church it's a big deal.)  And for my cousin, it was an amazing accomplishment. 

My cousin's husband was going to be putting in some really long hours at work and my cousin decided to go to Colorado to spend some time with her mom and sisters.  She and her baby daughter have been in Colorado for about four weeks.  My cousin was scheduled to go home this week. 

But in the past two weeks her life has fallen apart.

Her husband called her and told her that she should come home, but that when she got home they needed to talk.  He didn't love her and he wanted a divorce.  She told him she was coming home early to try and work things out; he told her if she came home early he wouldn't be there to pick her up from the airport.

He's taken money out of their account, he's had long phone/text conversations with another woman, he's filed divorce papers with the court that he hasn't even told her about yet. (She only knows because she got suspicious and called the courts.)  And the worst part...his plan was for my cousin to come home and drop the baby off at his parent's house so that he and she could 'talk'...all while his parents disappeared with the baby.  My cousin is still in Colorado,with her baby, where she calls my mom at least 10 times a day and begs for advice and help.

Yesterday my mom finally said, "STOP CRYING RIGHT NOW!"  And my cousin, shocked to hear her aunt talk that way, stopped.  My mom said, "Right now isn't the time to mourn.  It's the time to be mad as hell, and it's the time to get so damn mad that you do whatever it takes to fight for your rights.and for your baby girl." 

I'm sure that some day when my cousin isn't in the middle of all of this, she's going to remember that conversation and maybe die from the shock.  "Aunt Val cursed???  Aunt Val used those words?"  Between you and me, I'm kind of proud of my mom.

My aunt and my cousin found a lawyer that they can't afford.  They found a lawyer who happens to be friends with the jerk of a husband's lawyer, and who thinks he can really help them...but he can't do it for free.  So now my aunt and my cousin are scrambling to figure out a way to pay for this lawyer.  It's times like this I wish I were made of money.


Aren't you glad you stuck around for story time???

My mom has already called me twice today to give me the latest changes hourly.

It makes me really really really really really grateful for my husband.  Because the worst that he does?  Talk until midnight...

If you come back tomorrow I promise something happy!


Baby Sister said...

*sigh* Poor Misha.

TJ said...

i love getting mad as hell. doing something about it and sticking it to him is even more awesome. wish i knew a lawyer in idaho. i know one in LA!!!

Joann Mannix said...

She never came back from Colorado, right? She still has the baby? Because, my heart was falling out of my chest over that one. Make sure she documents all of this, especially the plan to steal the baby. That's a felony. Oh, that is just so sad.

Anonymous said...

Okay, I am angry. This man just proved he isn't worth this girl. HOW DARE he think the baby can be his after him turning traitor and NOT having the guts to tell her the truth while she was still here?? I need to pray for this cousin of yours, curse less and sleep.

Dazee Dreamer said...

First of all proud of you mom too. Because she doesn't swear, it will really mean she was mad.

They need to find a lawyer that isn't friends with the other lawyer. He won't fight as hard, won't want to upset his friend now will he.

Your poor cousin. I'm getting so sick and tired of men that "get tired of being married".

She does still have the baby right? and if his parents would have run off with the baby, then they could be charged with kidnapping.

Dominguez Family said...

I was saying the same thing in my head as I read this. "Your mom said that?" nice! I'll keep her in my prayers..your cousin that is. Maybe your mom too, to help her with the potty mouth. LOL!

Jessica said...

Quite a lady that Sister Platt. I've never heard such appropriate use of profanity! Best of luck to your cousin. You do NOT mess with an angry momma. I hope she lets him have it and comes out stronger and more empowered than before.

Sam said...

Ugh. I'm so sorry to hear all this. Praying that she catches a break somewhere.

I so know what you mean. My aunt is having major financial problems (in relation to a certain bad word whose name starts with a Bernie and ends with a Madoff), and on top of that, her husband, a veteran who was in Vietnam has had a plethora of health problems over the years, including cancer and a struggle with diabetes. Not to mention a weakness in his legs that cause him to fall a lot, and often land him in the hospital. I wish I could win the lottery. I'd give her a million right off the bat, give a friend of mine a million who is also having money problems, and then seek out an address for your cousin and make a small donation with six zeros on the end. If only.

Heather said...

No words............

other than,



adrienzgirl said...

See, it's times like this when I look at my mom who is the one who told me that The Lord won't give us things we can't handle, as I joked with you the other day, and say..."OK Mom, explain THIS then!"

All of it's terrible. The lying, and cheating, the betrayal of trust. BUT...HOW DARE HE conspire to steal her baby! Grrrr! I'm with your Mom, I'd be mad as hell!

Sandra said...

So your cousin and I have something in common. What we don't have in common is someone to tell me to stop the crying and stand up and I wish I had had your mom around because it would not have taken me so long to stop playing victim and I would have gotten strong a lot sooner.

But I will be praying for your cousin along with everyone else. And tell her to get a new lawyer- one that will make the jerk pay all legal expenses along with the alimony and child support. Because as anyone that knows me knows, there is one thing I will NOT tolerate and that is lying and he is one big fat liar, making covenants and then turning around and breaking them!

Venassa said...

Poor girl. Hope she can stay strong and get what she deserves!

Lani said...

I'm so sorry to hear that.. I am mad for her. Why do people think it's ok to treat others like that? I don't get it. I am glad she has your mom to give her such good advice.

Cheeseboy said...

Wow. That is quite the story. So sad for your cousin. Really, the story had so many twists and turns within that family I was hopeful for a happy ending. At least your cousin has your family to lean on.

Jane said...

Oh no! I was hoping that there was a different ending to the story, but the title gave it away altogether. I pray that she will find her happiness and stability in the right time. I am sure that now is a difficult time for her, but I really hope that she finds a good lawyer who will defend her rights.

Opto-Mom said...

OMG, I think we are related! I have an aunt like this, except the one with the mental problems he refused to treat was the first husband, and not the second. None of her kids graduated and all of them have been in jail. WOW!

jayayceeblog said...

Good Lord, what an awful thing to be happening to her. What is wrong with that guy? Why would he go through with the temple ceremony and then do this a few weeks later? I hope things go well for her and her baby throughout this trying process. And your Mom ROCKS! I would so want her in my corner when the chips are down.