Thursday, October 21, 2010

It's My Party And I'll Cry If I Want To

Sometimes I feel like having a pity party.
Can we still be friends?
Even if I admit that I am having a pity party right now?
I had to sneak off to my bedroom to ball my eyes out.
Except now that I've posted it on my blog, for the world to see, sneaking off didn't really accomplish anything.

I am tired of being dizzy and not feeling well.
That's it...that's what I'm having a pity party about.
I only tell you about the really bad dizzy episodes.
I don't tell you about the little ones.
The ones that happen every single day.

Like when when we're in the car and Jason turns a corner too fast and I get dizzy.
Or when I bend over to pick something up and am dizzy when I stand up straight again.
Or when I turn my head too fast and have to close my eyes so that the spinning stops.
Today's been a bad day.  Jason thinks I'm mad at him.  I'm not.  I just think he must get sick of hearing me whine about how I don't feel well.  So rather than whine, I just keep my mouth shut.
Except that now we're back to me telling the whole world that I don't feel well.
That's whining isn't it?

Did you know that there are 25 known causes for dizziness?
That's what the doctor told me yesterday.
25 causes, and he ruled out one of them.
I have to back next week for 3 hours worth of tests.
"We're going to purposely make you dizzy," that's what the nurse said.
"Well then, I will purposely throw up on you," is how I responded.
But what I really wanted to ask is if the doctor is going to be able to stop the puking once it starts.

In addition to the 3 hours worth of tests, I have to go to a cardiologist.
80% of people who complain of dizziness have a hole in their heart.
Fix the hole; fix the dizziness.
It all sounds delightful doesn't it?
Actually, if in the end it means my head is clear, I'll go through anything.

I just realized that today is supposed to be Crayola Goodness.
Rats.
Sleeping through Sunday really messed up my schedule.
Hold that thought while I do something about this...

(image from Finch Family Games)

The Girl, and her crayons, are very sorry for TWO WHOLE WEEKS of absence.  VERY SORRY.
They promise to come back next Friday for a Crayola Goodness Extravaganza.
(What does the girl get herself into?) (Oh...and don't you think the girl can color better than she can draw?) The Girl promises not to have another pity party for at least 2 days.  
But The Girl thanks you for reading her blog even through the pity party...it means more to her than toothpaste.
Yes, toothpaste.
The Girl wishes you a happy weekend!

22 comments:

Kristin said...

You are just too cute. I'm truly sorry for what you're going through. I can only imagine what it must be like. Sending you big giant hugs from Southern California!!! :)

Baby Sister said...

:( I hope the doctor figures out the problem...

Meghan said...

I love your blog! You do color really well, but I do enjoy the drawings a lot. I love how honest you are. I hope the doctor can fix you so you can move on with your life.

Kate said...

Hi, I'm here at your pity party. I have brought cupcakes. Here, have one. Or three!

I have two clients who within the last 6 months have discovered holes in their hearts and consequently had surgery. One of them was having major dizziness. I know it's a scary prospect, but both these gals talk about how amazing they feel now after having surgery, how it was almost instantaneous relief. I'm not hoping that's what it is for you per se, just wanted to tell you that if that's what it is not to be too scared. If you have surgery I'll bring you a real cupcake. Meanwhile, you want a Zofran?? Hang in there sister girl.

marie said...

I've been a lurker for a while, and I love reading your blog. I came to your blog from my nieces blog, who is your cousin. I'm really sorry for what you've been going through, it sounds really awful. I really think you should listen to Judie, who said on Wednesday:

"Those calcium crystals in your inner ear have probably shifted, and that's why you got so freaking dizzy and sick. I had that for the longest time, and when our cousin who is a neurosurgeon came for a visit, he gave me the treatment for it, and I haven't had any problems since. I don't want to tell you what the treatment is, because you won't believe me."

I was curious to know what she was talking about, so I googled it, and I think the treatment she's referring to might be called the Epley Maneuver or the canalith repositioning procedure (CRP). It talks about it on this website:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=103463398

and this one:
http://www.vestibular.org/vestibular-disorders/treatment/canalith-repositioning.php

I truly hope it is something easy to fix and not something more serious. It sounds like it's seriously interfering with your quality of life right now, though. Please get well! I'll be praying for you...

achick47 said...

Sorry to hear of your dizziness. I hope your Doctor finds the cause and it has a simple fix. Just keep on partying it will keep you sane. I once was where you are now I was sick as well as being sick and tired of being sick and tired. Once I got my diagnosis I felt like I could cope ,because my sickness has a name and i can now blog or converse with others who share my illness. You are a strong person and will deal with your answer while looking back and thinking boy that was a strang ride till I founs out what I have. In my case after a year of test to make sure I did not have a number of other illnesses it was found I have MS. Even knowing what MS is and that there is no cure is better than wondering if I was crazy because the Doctors didn't know why my body was ill one way on day and another way the next. So dear you will survive the puking and if your aim is good you can encourage your Doctor to find your cure quickly. LOL Seriously my prayers for a speedy recovery are heaven bound as you read this.Your Texas Angel

Anonymous said...

Noelle, have you heard of BPPV and the Epley Manuever? If not, check it out because it's a common cause of vertigo and a very easy and cheap treatment discovered in the mid '90's and not all doctors are familiar with it. (one of the many causes of vertigo but the easiest to treat). Aunt Pam

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Hope that you are feeling better soon. There's nothing wrong with whining a little, now and then. It lets out some of the stress.

Heather said...

I think your response to the nurse was classic. At least she will know to be prepared.
So I can't help my curiosity....what was the ONE thing NOT causing the dizziness?
I hope they find answers...easy ones even...like you just need a new pair of shoes. :) Wouldn't it be nice if that fixed it all up?
I'll be thinking about you!

Tiff said...

I am so sorry Noelle. I just want you to know that tears are streaming down my face...just for you. :) I would give anything to help you. Know that I love you and will continue to pray for you.

Love
the other little sister.

-stephanie- said...

I really hope the doctors can fix this dizziness. I feel bad that you have to go through this.

I didn't mind coming to your pity party. You still were the hostess with the mostess.

Dazee Dreamer said...

Hey, I think when you are throwing up on them, at least you warned them ;)

I truly hope that they find out what is causing your dizziness. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Jessica said...

I hope the tests are worth it and they find a way to help you!

Amy said...

Ugh. Just ugh.

Judie said...

I am so sorry that the slinging side to side didn't work. And just so you don't get scared, if you DO have a hole in your heart (which you DON'T) there is a medication you can take that can possibly close it without surgery.

A girl needs 2 Talk said...

Phew! I am a little mad about this whole thing that is happening to you. I giving you a tight hug. :( :( :( This doctor will figure it out. I'll pray. He will. I have faith.

Venassa said...

:( I am sad that you have to go through that. I hope they can find something that helps.

I'm not a big fan of the dizzy feeling I get when I sometimes stand up too fast (and that's nothing), so I can't imagine what it must be like for you.

Pity parties are okay. Sometimes they are needed.

Ps I love your coloring AND your drawing.

Cheeseboy said...

Wow - this does sound like a nightmare. I hope they find out what's wrong and fix you ASAP.

Sandra said...

It's not whining when it is chronic and everyday that you have to deal with this and we hear about it once in a while. Not. Whining.

We love you, Noelle. With all of us praying for you it will get figured out.

Sandra said...

Just read the comment from Sandra above, and was like, "Hey wait! I don't even remember reading this, how could I have commented?"
Anyway, I'm all about the pity parties, so don't worry about that.
Yes, I do miss the pictures, but they'll be back.
As for you, 3 hours worth of tests but it'll be worth it when you feel good again. Hang in there!

Taylor said...

I have pity parties on my blog all the time! You are in good company. I hope everything turns out ok and I am sorry for the blahs.

jayayceeblog said...

Hey, pity party on and do not apologize for it. Who better to whine to than your bloggy support group? So so sorry that you're going through this. I've had vertigo before on a much smaller scale so I know that being dizzy is very disorienting but adding in the nausea and vomiting is horrible! Got my fingers crossed that they'll find a simple cure for you soon!!!