Monday, October 4, 2010

Read This, Ignore The Other One That Shows up in Your Reader :)

My little blog has been having a bit of a pity party.
No, not me, my blog.
There was a moment when it thought about retiring...when it thought that maybe it had reached it's limit...maybe it's voice had been heard - overheard even...

But then my blog got a comment that said this:


I love your posts. Seriously. One day this week I'm going to demand all my followers to follow you. Or, no, I'm going to tell them to come here. And that will be enough said.

You could seriously talk about chicken soup and make it interesting and funny and something people want to read.

Super duper thankful that you were one of the first blogs I ever followed! :)

And that was all my little blog needed to carry on.  You can thank Sam for saving my blog's life.

Now...I've got something to tell you...a story about my day.  I think the story will be better if you eat popcorn while you are reading it.

Go ahead...I'll wait...but DON'T burn it!  I'd probably smell it through the screen.

One of my 367 job responsibilities is to bill the people who owe us money and then attempt to collect the money.  In my ever so humble opinion it's not a fair thing to ask of me...for several reasons.

1. I don't always get a say in who gets to open up a charge account.
2. I don't always get a say in the amount of credit someone gets.
3. Even when I do get a say, no one listens to my say.
4. People don't respond as well to me because I'm a girl. 

(I can call the same person 12 times, and get no response.  My brother can call them once and have payment within 2 hours.)

I've been slowly sending out letters - a few at a time - letting the people who are a risk know that their accounts have been changed to COD...because frankly, I'm tired of playing the 'You'll get paid when I get paid' game.  I wonder if they've tried that excuse at the grocery store, or the mall.

I have one customer who owes me a lot of money.  A lot = I could pay almost half of my mortgage off with the amount of money he owes.  This customer has made ONE payment since January of this year.  I call at least once a week and talk to the same lady every time.  I hear one of three excuses:

I can't talk to Dave because he's 1. in a meeting  2. at lunch  or 3. out of town.

I leave a message every single time I call, knowing that he won't return my call. 

When I called last Friday Shaniqua (not her name...but a name I've always wanted to use) said, "I'll let him know you called."

I laughed and said, "You and I both know that won't do a bit of good.  Your boss is my least favorite person, and you can tell him I said so."

When I called today Shaniqua said, "Dave is in the office, hold on and I'll transfer the call."  (I believe that the only reason I found Dave in the office is because Baby Sister was sitting at my desk, and she is my lucky charm...really.)

This is how my conversation with Dave went:  


"Dave, it's Noelle from the nursery."

"Noelle!  It's been a long time!"  (And trust me when I tell you it was said with the most sweetly condescending voice I have ever heard.)

"It's been even longer since you've given me a payment," was my reply.

"Oh Noelle, you're just not using the right words."  (Again with the sweet condescension.)

"Are those words 'If I don't get a payment immediately I will take you to court?'"

"No, those aren't the words.  The words are 'Please Dave, can I get a payment?'"

"We passed please a long time ago Dave."

"But I've never heard you say please."  (And now we have a sing-song condescension going on.)

"You've never heard me say anything Dave.  You don't return my calls."

"You've called in the past?  I've heard from your brother Ben but not you."

"You know darn well I've called Dave.  But it's a nice iron wall you've built between you and the people you owe money to."

"Now Noelle, just say the right words."

"Dave, when do you plan to pay me?"  

And then he gave me the song and dance about how he hopes to get paid this week and maybe by Wednesday he can pay me something.  

"Call back Wednesday Noelle, and we'll see if we can't get you a payment."

I didn't say another word.  I just hung up the phone and wanted to throw something.

Maybe it's time I get our lawyer involved...he's a man...he's already got one up on me because of that.  

Anyone want a job?


Kristin said...

Oh I do not envy you at all. I couldn't do your job. I would piss people off left anf right!

I'm glad Sam kept you from leaving us. What would we do without you???? I look forward to your posts too! :))

Kristin said...

btw, I now have that song (your post title) playing over and over in my head. thanks a lot. ;)

TJ said...

dude, i liked the other one.

but really, would he treat a man that way??? I MEAN COME ON!!! that whole conversation was a load of crap. would he say "just say the right words ben". please. if that isn't sexist, and mostly flirting, i don't know what is. and if he treated one of his employees that way......yikes. take the man down. down down down.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

So glad your blog decided not to retire. It made a good choice.

RayRay said...

Whenever I go out dancing with friends, my name is always Shaniqua.

Just thought you should know.

p.s. use the lawyer.

Sandra said...

My job before I moved to the school entailed calling people that owed us money or refusing to send shipments to people that owed us money. I don't miss it at all.

And for the record- I think they were the right words.

Goal for today- just breath.

And thank you Sam, because we love you Noelle.

Heather said...

Ack. I am so glad you blog didn't die. I would be so sad. did you keep from driving to that guy's office and jack slapping him. I may have. "Say Please." Seriously??

Baby Sister said...

I'll be sure to be sitting by your desk on Wednesday. :)

singedwingangel said...

OH I would take it cause I don't play nice and I know legally what I can and cannot do and what they are responsible for.. yeah they don't like me in collections cause I forget I am a woman and act like a man lol

Dazee Dreamer said...

Oh Noelle, I could not even call people that owe money. And you did such a fine job. Too bad you don't have my mouth, you would have said the right words. :) or he would know that he better not piss you off ever again. I probably would just put his account on hold. Then let him say "all the right words". I'm totally pissed off. I want to hurt him for you. At least call him a name while on the phone with him. ;)

Jessica said...

You are waaaay too nice! Use the lawyer!

Kristie said...

Please don't retire your blog!

Anonymous said...

Do not think I am strange, but I LOVE collections. I did it for one of the law offices I worked in and it was my favorite thing to do there. :) Seriously, I wish I could find a part-time job just doing that (how warped am I?)

Noelle, I would be so upset if you quit blogging. It helps me know what is going on in your life and I check it religiously.


Ninno said...

Wow. What a great way to start my day...reading your blog. I laughed so hard, because your experience rings true. Thank you!

Anonymous said...

That does it. Wednesday is THE DAY. Go to his house. Take ALL of your brothers and Baby Sister of course and start taking away everything he owns. Sell it. Tell him, "We're done, _____!" I'm trying to think of a word that would be acceptable. "Don't you dare get your fat butt to my nursery again."

I'm glad for Sam. :)

Amy said...

Can I borrow your lucky charm? I had no idea that it was my femininity that made me look like a loan office. Maybe I can borrow your brother too....

wjmom said...

Don't EVEN get me started on the feminism thing. I used to think women were just overreacting. I have changed my mind. You were perfectly fabulous!

And thank you, Sam, for telling Noelle's blog not to retire. Because there are many of us who feel the same way but don't have your way with words.

Sam said...

Aww! Thanks for the shout-out buddy. I'm happy that your blog was willing to be talked off the cliff. I think that proves he or she is a very reasonable blog. :p

Second, I deal with some pretty frustrating folks on the less enjoyable side of restaurants... and I feel like I would choose them any day over the frustration you deal with. Yuck.

And Dave sounds like a loser. (No offense, Dave!)

Also, I think we all want to use the name Shaniqua. Good choice. :)

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

Well, I do need a job. Let me just try to come up with something (anything!) else first. Phone calls to demand money - YUCK. Poor you! Plus, having to deal with jerks like Dave. It does sound like it's time to send in the attorney.
I'm glad Sam inspired you to save your blog. I'd miss it!

Loralee and the gang... said...

I think you totally said the right words. Good for you!

Judie said...

Noelle, Dave is a first class jerk. I would sic a lawyer on him so fast! Seriously! The guy is a condescending A.H.! "Say please?" What kind of way is that for a grown man to talk to a supplier? He is obnoxious! Skin him alive!

And furthermore, don't you dare think about dropping your blog!! We LOVE you!