Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Things I Learned Over The Weekend

If you read a heartbreaking blog about a little 7-year-old girl who has terminal brain cancer...
DO NOT...and I repeat...DO NOT leave a comment suggesting that the parents have angered God by eating meat.  Do not imply that the cancer is God's punishment.  Do not suggest that if the parents apologize to God and refrain from eating meat in the future,God might have mercy on their little girl and heal her.
If you do write such an asinine thing, DO write it as an anonymous commenter.
It's the only way you'll keep millions of people from beating your blog door down.

* * *

If you're of the mind to do some match making please consider the following things:

-Make sure that the girl you want to set up knows that the guy you're setting her up with is 20 years older than she is.
-Make sure that once the girl knows the age difference, she is okay with going out with a man old enough to be her father.
-Make sure that the girl is okay with her date talking about his grandchildren all night long.
-Make sure that you tell the girl all of this BEFORE the date shows up at her door.
-If you're the girl's sister, make sure you emote the proper amounts of dismay and sympathy when the girl tells you of her horrible evening.

* * *

If you're in need of a quick power nap, I've heard a high chair is a great place to go:

* * *

Valentine's Day is a perfect day to do 15 loads of laundry.
There is nothing more romantic than folding socks.
And also...if you're pregnant, and you stand at an ironing board for a prolonged period of time...
your feet and ankles are going to hurt...a lot.
If your husband offers to rub them you should let him.
Don't tell him you'll be fine and that he can go to sleep.

* * *

If you're going to Sunday dinner, and you want to contribute to the meal, and you're 4...

...make a salad that consists of spinach, baby carrots, and lots of ranch dressing.
Put it on the table and make sure that ALL of your aunts and uncles know that you made a salad.
Tell your cousins that they can eat the salad you made.
Don't be offended when your 6-year-old cousin starts to cry because she wants to eat the grown-up salad.
Just let her...there will be peace that way.

* * *

And finally...

When your husband makes you dinner...
And tells you that you look hot in your maternity pants...
And leaves you cheesy love notes...
And tells you his favorite part of the day is when you come home from work...
And carries the laundry basket so that you don't have to...
And leaves you messages on your phone telling you not to come home yet because he hasn't done the dishes...

Say a quiet prayer and thank God that He sent you the man of your dreams.


Joann Mannix said...

Ummm. I've been closed up in my writing shell. It seems that I've missed big things. Who on earth would write such a hateful comment?

And who did NOT tell a young lady that her blind date was 20 years older than her? Gulp.

I'm glad you have such a lovely spy man. Enjoy these days of pampering. You deserve them, my dear.

Jami said...

That first section: Oh no. I want to believe that didn't happen. And now there is a lump in my throat. :(

And the rest, thanks for the smiles. You are always a joy to read. :)

Beth Zimmerman said...

I just don't understand the cruelty of some people! It makes me want to sit down and throw a hissy fit!

I'm so glad Jason is so good to you! You deserve it!

Venassa said...

By eating meat?! That's insane and so sad to hear. That poor family.
Sounds like quite the horrible blind date.
Your husband is wonderful.

Dazee Dreamer said...

oh my gosh. not that I want to know, but do you know the commenter? That is wrong in so many ways. I think I'm glad that I don't know what blog it is, because if I had seen that comment I would have gone all sorts of crazy and said mean things. I would love to follow the blog tho, if you will send me the link.

Aren't you supposed to be in Mexico?

I love the salad story. so very cute.

Shan said...

I'll be adding your list to Things I Learned Tuesday.

I cannot even imagine what sexually transmitted brain eating disease (okay, so apparently I can imagine) would cause a person to leave such a comment. What is *wrong* with people?!?

The four year old salad maker is adorable and I'll bet his ranch-soaked salad was positively yummy!

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

I'm still really troubled by that first blurb.

That little boy with the pink bow-tie is so huggable looking. I want to bring him home to make a salad for me.


Anonymous said...

The pictures are beautiful. You've had a LONG weekend.

I'm glad everyone in the blog world stood up for this family you're speaking of.

AJ said...

I just started following your blog and you have a neat way with words :)

As for this post, that's terrible for someone to say. Faith is the one thing that got me through when my younger sister was going through cancer at the age of 6, and to feel like I was being rejected by others based on "how I angered God" would make me feel a million times worse about everything. I do not understand some people and their minds.

As for the husband part, that is amazing. I am glad to know that there are more married people in this world who stay in love with each other and are unselfish to one another :) Blessings to you both!

Judie said...

Noelle, you certainly have a gem of a husband! You are one lucky woman, indeed!

Cheeseboy said...

First off, I am a little nervous to see Beth's hissy fit.

Secondly, your husband makes me look like a total jerk.

Finally, so cancer is NOT a punishment from God? Where have I been?

TortugaRachel said...

Some people are just plain awful.
Nuf said.

As for Jason, give him a hug for me, he's awesome! My Hubby used to tell me maternity made me sexy, and it was one of the greatest feelings ever!

Anonymous said...

Love that you have the man of your dreams - beautiful.

Don't like nasty comments - blog trolls just looking for a reaction and to obtain followers, I think.

Heather said...

Wonderful salad.
Wonderful husband!!

jayayceeblog said...

Well, it seems there are some complete nutjobs leaving comments in blogland. I hope the parents were able to ignore it. Matchmaking should probably include full disclosure before the date happens. Yikes! If I could find a high chair big enough, I'd power nap too. Who is the hunk in the bow tie that can cook salad??? Is he available??? Sounds like you have your own McDreamy, you lucky girl!