Let me give you some advice.
I'm hopeful that you won't need it.
If you are going to your local children's hospital for an appointment, and there's a chance your child will soon be a patient there, wear waterproof mascara.
I was fine through the ultrasound/echo cardiogram.
I was fine through the room full of doctors (3 of them...plus a social worker, and someone else) going over the results of the ultrasound.
I was fine when I was asked twice, "Are you sure you don't need a bathroom?"
I was NOT fine when we walked into the cardiac newborn intensive care unit.
I would have been...
If it weren't for the tiny little baby I saw...hooked up to a ventilator, with a million other little tubes all over his body.
He couldn't have been more than a week old.
I missed the entire speech our 'tour guide' gave us...I was too busy trying to control the tears.
In a few short weeks that would be my baby, hooked up to tubes...and the reality hit harder than I thought it would.
I broke down one other time. It was when the tour guide took us across a bridge to the other hospital, where I'll deliver Emily.
It's a long walk from where I'll be to where my baby will be, soon after she's born.
And as the tour guide explained that due to my circumstances, I'll be in a room with a window connected to the NICU so that I can see my baby for as long as possible before they take her to the other hospital, the reality hit again.
I'm going to have a baby.
And that baby will be in another hospital.
And it will be 48 hours before I can spend any significant amount of time with Emily.
I made it to the car before I cried enough to have it be embarrassing.
And all of this came AFTER the visit with the cardiologist...where we got good news.
I'm thinking in the future they should do it the other way around.
Hit the soon to be first time mom with the hard stuff first, and then end her visit with the good news.
The good news?
There is blood flow through Emily's pulmonary artery...where there hasn't ever been signs of it before.
It's not a lot but it's there.
Blood flow means that she's on the mild end of the spectrum.
According to the cardiologist blood flow means that we got the 'good' heart condition.
Blood flow means that there's a small chance she won't need surgery right when she's born...although at this point that's not likely the case.
Prayers and faith = blood flow to Emily's arteries.
And all of you can take the credit for that.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart...which by the way, does have good blood flow.