Monday, September 5, 2011

The Reason I Don't Blog

I'll be honest.
I'm in a bit of a funk.
Actually it might be more than a bit.
Sometimes I think I'm a pretty good faker, but even that is getting harder to do.
I wonder...if I screamed really loud, for a really long time, would I feel better?
I might, but then I would wake the little miss.
Don't worry, I'll figure it out...I just need to dig deeper than I ever have.
Anyone have a really big shovel?


Dazee Dreamer said...

We understand.

Singedwingangel said...

OH mama you need sleep and long hot bath with candles and bubbles. That fixes anything.

Sandra said...

Soon, my dear, you will sleep again. Then a miracle will happen- You will begin to feel like yourself. I promise. In the meantime, drink water, chill as much as possible, and catch a nap whenever little miss is sleeping- and don't feel guilty about it because it is what you need the most.

Tiff said...

I'm sorry you are struggling. You'll make it through this; just cry as often as you want and eat ice cream and one day, you'll wake up and not feel so depressed. At least, it worked for me.


Joann Mannix said...

Having a baby is the hardest thing.

Not only are you thrown into this new life with diapers and sleepless nights and having no earthly idea why the baby is crying, on top of that, you have these hormones that are raging and fluctuating and causing so much turmoil in your heart and head.

I have been there, done that and it is such a stamp of time in your life where everything seems overwhelming and just completely out of your grasp.

And on top of that, you have a little girl who needs extra special care because of her own health issues.

Relax. Take big, gulping breaths. Cry when you want to. Rest when you can.Take a pillow and scream into it, until all the scream is gone. Rely on those who love you and want to help. Know that you are not alone. And know that you don't need that big shovel. Everything you need is right there in that boundless mama's heart you now own.

Mary said...

No, but I have lots of them to spread around to friends to help you dig.:)

TJ said...

can i tell you a secret? i lost it. on sunday. i raged, screamed, threw things.....raged a little bit more. then i went to the bird reserve by our house, sat on a bench and for the next two hours wrote in my journal. it ended up being 16 pages.

acting like a two year old and screaming your heart out can sometimes help.

it sounds like i'm a little crazy...but thats because i am. so, go somewhere that won't wake her, and let it all out. then come back and see how you feel. it worked for me!

walden said...

Oh, honey, I feel you in the pit of my stomach and my heart. Hang in there. If you send me your address, I'll send you flowers or cookies or whatever you want!


TheBlogWriter8 said...

I know I still look for updates from you. I'm glad work is helping to retain your sanity. Sending hugs.


p.s. eat?

Kristin said...

Ok, let me tell you about that screaming thing...

About 10 years ago when my dad was really sick, he was in the hospital and had just had surgery. I "seemed" to be dealing just fine, but I remember our pastor telling me it was ok to lose it once in a while, and just SCREAM. He actually told me to do that!

That night, a (stupid) nurse called me from CCU and said my dad was out of recovery and asking for my mom who was in the waiting room. They had tried calling her but my mom is hard of hearing didn't hear the phone and the nurse refused to go and get her, expecting me to figure it out. I was so frustrated that I hung up the phone and I SCREAMED for a god minute. I'm sure the neighbors thought I was insane but I really did feel better!

So, the moral of the story? SCREAM! You will feel better. :)

The end.

Beth Zimmerman said...

Honey ... this sounds a bit like baby blues and the good Lord knows ... you deserve a little blue time! :) We'll be here whenever you dig your way out!

le Chef said...

You've been through the wringer. Go to the D.I., and buy some cheap plastic cooking spatulas and spoons. Then bring them home and break them against the walls, the counters, .... where ever you feel the need. They make a wonderful cracking noise.
Trust me on this.
It's never a good time to fall apart, or go off on a screaming rant, so you might as well just go do it and get it out of your system. Once or twice a week for the next year ought to do the trick.
Baby blues aren't just old wives tales, or things that happen to other people, or only to bad moms; they happen to LOTS of moms. Especially moms that have had hard issues thrown at them. Moms that maybe are a bit angry at what life has dealt their baby ... and them.
Get some professional input here hon - not church - professional - there IS a difference. And a woman doc who has had kids will understand a WHOLE lot better than one who hasn't.
Been there - done that.
I'm not saying church input is bad, I'm simply saying sometimes hormones and psychology need more than good intentions.
Go. Do it. Your heart and head need it.
I'm the queen of deep hole digging. In fact, that's where I've been the past month.
Your not alone.