Thursday, October 13, 2011


Tonight I sat on Emily's bedroom floor and watched as she and her daddy danced.
Jason is teaching Emily how to break dance...or maybe she is teaching him.
I laughed at Emily's facial expressions.
I laughed harder at Jason 'shaking his booty.'
And although I laughed, my heart was hurting.

As I kissed my little angel goodnight, my thoughts were with another angel.

A little over a year ago my cousin gave birth to twins.

Little Lucy, the sweet girl in pink, was born with the same heart defect Emily has.
I've written about Lucy before.
Lucy and Emily were practically roommates in the CICU...and for a few days they even shared a nurse.

While Emily was in the hospital Lucy got to go home for a week.
It was the first time she had been home in two months.
At the end of her week at home Lucy was readmitted to the hospital.

My incredibly brave cousin sent me a text tonight telling me that their sweet little Lucy passed away.

That saying: "There but for the grace of God go I" has been running through my mind all night.
I don't know what my cousin is feeling...not entirely.
But I know the fear...the possibility of losing my child...the pain of watching my child suffer...
And that is enough to cause my heart to ache for my cousin.

I have never known two stronger people than Lucy's mommy and daddy.

I believe that my cousin will see her little Lucy again.
I believe that Lucy will one day spend forever with her mommy and daddy and brother and sister.

My cousin and her husband believe that too.
And that belief is what will get them through this hardest of times.


TheBlogWriter8 said...

This shook my world. But I'm holding on to the end of your post. I can't help but hold on to that.

Dear Lucy,

Stay safe until your family meets again. Be a good girl. We'll send you hugs, prayers and kisses.

Dear Parents of Lucy,

God is holding you all in place. Talk to Him. Hugs.


le Chef said...

Bowing head.
Folding arms.
I can't take the hurt from you, or the worry. Even at the saddest of times .. maybe more so .. it's important to hold those close you love, and make as many memories as you can. Don't think on tomorrow N, enjoy the day at hand. Life will unfold, celebrate the moments.
My deepest sympathies.

Sam said...

Oh my gosh Noelle. This post, needless to say, had me in tears. I am so sorry for the loss your family is suffering, and am praying for all of you, especially little Lucy's parents. xo

Bossy Betty said...

A tribute to your cousin, you, Emily, Lucy and all of those who take the risk of loving....

Sending lots of hugs your way.

Judy said...

My heart is breaking for your cousin...I cannot begin to imagine how hard this is for them, but am so glad that they have the knowledge that they will see their baby girl again.

Heather said...

I don't know what to say.
I am so sorry.

Lalis said...

Oh, how my heart hurts when I read stories like these.
But something wonderful happened when I read your words, "I believe that my cousin will see her little Lucy again.
I believe that Lucy will one day spend forever with her mommy and daddy and brother and sister."
I felt they were true, and something in my chest swelled.
How grateful I am for an Eternal perspective.
I will be praying for your cousin and her family.

Baby Sister said...

My heart just breaks for them... :(

Brynn said...

So sorry to you and your cousin. What a heartbreaking loss.
Glad Emily is home now. You should take videos of Jason dancing with her.

Hoontah said...

Oh I am so, so sorry. Though I believe they will all see each other again and be with each other for eternity my heart hurts for them too. Please send them my love. And our family is so grateful Emily is home now. Hurray! We love you.

Bridget said...

Oh my, that is something I wish no parent had to experience! Our thoughts and prayers will be with your cousin's family. And always with yours.
It is SO good to hear to talk about Emily at home!

Shan said...

Oh, Noelle, I am so sad for you all. I can only imagine... Lucy's life is a reminder to us all that we should appreciate and love those around us while we can.

Much love.

PS I was not expecting break dancing.

Meghan said...

So happy that Emily is home! That's sweet of Jason teaching Emily how to dance. You need to tape that!

My heart breaks for Lucy's family, we will keep them in our prayers.

Mindy said...

My heart is so sad! Our prayers and love to your cousin, her husband and their sweet family. The closest person I have yet to lose in this life time is my sister, so I do not understand the lose of a child....... but this I do know..... The gospel can bring me peace. It is so simple...... yet I have never felt more comfort. May the atonement bring peace and healing to your loved ones. We love you.

Julie said...

Noelle, I am so sorry for you cousin and all the thoughts that are running through your head and heart. We are praying for you and all. I am sorry Noelle. Blessings!!