Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Yet Again


Where I should be?

Where we are?
The hospital.

Emily is having a bad day...
...a bad few days really,
and we're here to figure out what is going on.

The nurse practitioner and I spent a few minutes crying about Lucy...
(because the cardiac unit of Primary Children's Hospital is like a family)
I told her Lucy looked beautiful.
And now we're waiting for a bunch of tests to be run.

Lucy really did look beautiful...heartbreakingly.
And I cried.
A lot.
And between worrying about Emily and thinking about Lucy it was a sleepless night.

It was a sleepless night for Jason too.
He held his baby girl most of the night.
He wanted to make sure that if she threw up again she wouldn't choke.

We'll be here in room 3085 if you need us.


13 comments:

Rachel Starchman said...

Hugs Noelle. I've been following your blog a few weeks and I found your blog through Elizas blog and I found her through my good friend Alicia....but you guys are in my thoughts and prayers always. I haven't been able to stop thinking about what Lucys sweet parents are going through. Last night as a family we watched Lucys video, cried and said a prayer for all of you guys. My sweet 5 year old son cried too, we talked about how Families ARE Forever and how sometimes He needs his sweet children back. I know we don't know each other but we pray for you guys and I am always checking back for updates on your sweet Emily. You and Eliza are a huge inspiration in Faith and Love and how prayers are answered. Thank you for sharing your story Noelle, your an amazing mommy and I'm SO sorry your not at Lucys funeral, I am sure Lucy is with Emily today, holding her hand and smiling telling her to keep going.

Kristin said...

I want to drive to Utah and sit with you in that room right now.

Joann Mannix said...

Oh my girl. I'm so sorry. About everything. Everything.

I'm back and I'm praying for you and that husband, for Emily to feel better quickly, for Lucy's family.

Take care. And like I always say, just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

sarah said...

:( tears and hugs and prayers is all I can say

Sandra said...

Oh, sweetie. I am so sorry.

-stephanie- said...

and I'll be here...praying. Hugs.

Mindy said...

Noelle,
I'm sorry you missed the funeral. I hope you, Jason, and Emily get a little more sleep tonight. <3
and I hope the tests are fast, and the results are something that can be helped with not much pain... to the little princess. Many prayers for you and your family.

Jaime said...

I just found your blog -- clicked through from one blog to another and landed on yours.

And I am in tears just reading your story. But also so amazed at you, your strength, your faith.

And that baby girl of yours....she is beautiful.

walden said...

Praying for you guys more...and Lucy's little family, too, now.

Love ya-

TheBlogWriter8 said...

It's exhausting just to read about this madness. It'll be over soon, Noelle. And I'm telling myself each day, too- "There IS meaning to the madness. We'll find it."

Mom on a Line said...

I'm sending you, your husband, sweet Emily, and your entire extended family, especially sweet Lucy's twin and parents, lots and lots of heart hugs.

Lalis said...

Sometimes I can't stand feeling so helpless. All I can do for everyone else is pray.
At the same time, knowing Who is in charge is of comfort.
I have prayed for Lucy's family ever since you announced her passing. I hope they find comfort in the truth of the Gospel.

le Chef said...

My heart is just broken over Lucy. I know it must be hard to endure on top of everything else - know how much you are loved, and how many people are rooting for you. You're not alone in this - we're here for you.
{{hugs}}