Tuesday, November 29, 2011

What Do You Do To Feel Pretty?

Emily is tucked in for the night.
Jason is working late.
And I just finished off a bowl of soggy Cheerios...soggy because right after I poured the milk Emily decided that she wasn't quite ready to be asleep for the night.  She needed a few more minutes of quiet snuggle time with mommy.

I'm feeling a little bit lost.
Not lost as in no direction, but lost as in 'where's that person I used to be?'
I called my mom tonight to check in and before I could even talk I was crying.
She listened and then gave me some perspective into why I'm feeling the way I am.

"When you got married you were in a better place than you've ever been: physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  And then you got sick, and stayed sick the entire first year of your marriage.     You got pregnant and had a really hard pregnancy: both physically and emotionally.  And then you had Emily, and nothing about that situation has been easy.  It's okay to feel the way you are feeling."

That's good, because for now there are days where I can't feel any other way.


In an effort to find myself again I had a plan.
I knew that I would have two hours tonight where Jason would be home to take care of Elimy, before he left again.
I left Elimy tucked in her daddy's arms and got in my car.
My destination was the mall.
I was going to get a cosmetic makeover.  I need a new look and nothing makes a girl feel better about herself than feeling pretty.
Guess who wouldn't give me a makeover...
Who knew that I needed to make an appointment?
It's really too bad for them.
I was ready to spend good money on 'pretty.'

I have a hair appointment on Thursday.
It's with someone new.
If she knew how much hope I was putting into her version of 'pretty' she would probably cancel on me.


Here's something that perplexes me.
Have you ever noticed that most actresses on TV wear dainty little necklaces in the hollow part of their neck?
Loralai Gilmore wore a different necklace in almost every episode.  In fact, that was what amazed me most about the Gilmore Girls series.
I want the same kind of necklace...something dainty and elegant.
I've wanted one for years.
The perplexing part is that I can't find one...anywhere.
Do you think they only make dainty necklaces for TV stars?
If that's the case, I think that's kind of rude.

It's time for bed.
I know this because I just tried to use my baby monitor as my mouse.  And I don't even use a mouse with my laptop.

(PS.  For those of you who might be wondering: 'Elimy' is how my four year old niece says Emily.  The nickname stuck.)


Allison said...

Yes I know exactly teh kind of necklace you mean! Try ETSY--not sure what I searched for.

Bossy Betty said...

First of all, you are one gorgeous woman just the way you all. However, I totally get the makeover thing. Do it, baby. Be bold. I needed a change in my looks and I went right to the hairdresser and told him to just change my hair.

Your life muscles are strong. Look at all the heavy lifting you've done. Those muscles make you beautiful.

Of One Heart said...

Noelle! You ARE pretty. I know so. That haircut is going to be the perfect one. Eat. Go for a run. Go for a movie with Em. Has she seen her first movie yet? Swim. Where did I read that it is a great stressbuster? I wonder. How old am I already? 82? Phew. Umm, I think I'll eat for you, too because I'm a fantastic friend like that. Mwah!

Kristie said...

Remember...my house is ALWAYS open if you need a get-away. I'll even do your make-up, but trust me when I say you're better off making an appt with the professionals!

Or if you need a trip to 31 flavors, just call! :)

Elleny said...

Yes- check Etsy for necklaces. And I wouldn't recommend Nordstrom for the makeover. I went last month (must be a post-pregnancy thing) and the girl did intense makeup haha.

Bridget said...

You know, since having our boys, I don't think I have ever felt like the same "me" that I was before. But over the years I have adjusted and grown such that I love the new person that I am far more than the person I was before. I don't know that you can feel like yourself again, you know? Your body always seems to be used for others now, and your brain too for that matter. But in the end that's much more important. Having said that, I swear there is nothing like getting your hair done by someone else to make you feel nice! Though I can never do it like they do at the salon, ha ha. All well. You have gorgeous, thick, beautiful hair to begin with!!

Dazee Dreamer said...

I'm glad to hear you are trying to do things for yourself. even tho they wouldn't do a comestic thing for you. they are bad, bad I tell you.

Shan said...

I like your plan for prettifying much better than my own. Let's just say that I should not be allowed to shape my own eyebrows. Ever.

le Chef said...

It finally hit ... I'm glad. Wanting to rediscover your pretty is a good sign. A new haircut is always a good start. Next, buy a new sweater, or shoes.
Then go out with your hubby and feel like a princess.
The tired will hang out for some time, but keep moving forward. Every day is an accomplishment.