Well, I managed to keep it together as I made my way from Emily's hospital room to my car.
But as I pulled out of the hospital parking lot?
I lost it.
And I cried the entire hour drive home.
(Jason stayed at the hospital. He knew I needed sleep.)
It didn't get easier...handing my baby over to the anesthesiologist.
Emily is having a hard time recovering; they had to put her on oxygen tonight.
As she was coming out of sedation she opened her eyes and looked at me.
She whimpered and croaked out 'ma ma...ma ma' and then started to cry.
All of the progress I had made emotionally was shot to you know where in about three seconds, and tonight I feel like I'm right back where I started seven months ago, and I wish that for a minute...for a day... life for my little lady could just be easy.