I've got to teach my little lady that two for one deals are not always her best option.
Especially when it comes to heart defects.
There is something so sobering about talking to a cardiologist...even when the news is good.
They put into words the things you would choose to forget about...to put away in the very farthest corner of your mind.
|Emily was not amused. And yes, I might have coordinated her G-tube pad to her outfit.|
"Emily's combination of heart defects is rare," Dr. H told me.
"But I'm sure you already know that."
I laughed and said, "my heart mom group is both a blessing and a curse."
"Dr. H, the parents I know who have kids with Em's same diagnosis have all been told 'there is nothing more we can do.'"
"Are we facing the same future?"
Dr. H took a minute to answer and gave me the answer he must have given other parents a thousand times.
"Every child is different. We can't know what Emily's future will bring, but we know that for right now she's doing well. Her heart sounds better than I thought it would, she looks great, and I'm really happy with what I see. Let's focus on that. And unless something drastic happens between now and then, I don't need to see Emily for another six months."
Not too long ago I was talking to my mom. I was having a bad day and I was crying.
"Mom, I hate not knowing how long we will have Emily with us. I hate that I even have to ask that question."
My mom's response, which she's given to me before, was "Noelle, there are no guarantees for any of us. None of us know how long we will be here, or how long our kids will be here."
"Yes, but there is something about ignorance that makes you less likely to worry," I told her. "We have never had that ignorance."
In the eternal perspective, if Em eats or doesn't eat it is of little consequence.
If she walks, or talks, or succeeds in school, or ... or anything ... it's all the same...little consequence compared to the eternal perspective.
That's what I remind myself every single day.
She's healthy (except for the double ear infection she was diagnosed with yesterday).
She's doing well.
She's developing as she should be.
And most importantly, she's happy.
And she is so loved.
Jason and I have made it our mission in life to live in the present.
We try to make the most of every day we have with Emily...to fill every day with as much happiness and love that we can. (And that's why we're throwing a huge pink elephant birthday party for our girl next weekend...even if I am too sick to plan it.)
Emily deserves that...and so do we.