Emily and Becca and I went to dinner tonight.
After tonight Em won't be invited again for a long time - the terrible two's are out in full form.
As the hostess was seating us she asked, "Should I get some crayons for your little girl or will she eat them?"
"She won't eat them but you don't need to give her any. She'll just throw them on the floor."
Whenever I go to the bank the teller asks me if Emily wants a sucker and I smile and shake my head no.
It's really easy for me to accept and maybe even respect Emily's limitations when it comes to eating.
She doesn't put food in her mouth, and right now I don't expect her to.
With that said, help me understand something - give me some insight on my next scenario.
I've noticed recently that when someone says hello to Emily, no matter who it is or where we are my automatic response is to look at Emily and say, "Can you say hi?"
And by doing that I give the person who said hello the expectation of a response, when I know full well that Emily won't respond.
Tonight I did it again. Someone said hello and I looked at Em and asked "can you say hi?"
And then I kind of wanted to smack myself.
In a way I feel like I'm setting my girl up to fail by asking her that question.
No. She can't say hi.
No. She won't say hi.
And in most cases, unless you're Aunt Becca or Grandpa and Grandma, she won't even wave to you.
She's not even two - she doesn't know that I'm setting her up to fail - but it's going to happen that someone will not get the response they want and think to themselves, "she's not a very friendly little girl."
When the truth is the exact opposite.
Em will have limitations: the quantity and severity of those limitations won't be known until she gets older.
I will do everything I can to help lessen the limitations and to focus on the amazing things Emily does so well.
But it should start now - with the next person who says hello to my sweet little lady.
What do I say then?
Just smile and say nothing?
Speak for Em and say hi to the person?
Am I over thinking this entire thing?
* * * * *
Our girl is full of happiness and joy and love for the world around her - she points now, to everything.
Tonight it was a stack of tires at Costco.
Over and over again she pointed to the tires, waiting until I said the word tire before she raised her finger and pointed again.
She loves the Little Einsteins and Minnie Mouse.
I can't wait to show you the quilt I've made Em - with loving help from both grandmas.
I dropped it off tonight at a quilt shop where someone is going to quilt hearts on the top for me.
We went for a walk along the river Monday night, before Daddy left to go out of town for the week, and all I had to cover Emily up with was the quilt top.
The minute she saw it she snuggled up to it and kept her hand firmly wrapped around a piece of the quilt for the hour we were walking.
My life is full of busyness and stress, but when Em comes and wants to snuggle, all of the other disappears for a few minutes and I remind myself of all that I'm blessed with...
...even if I have to go to desperate measures to entertain her.
(This? The best $40.00 I've ever spent. My girl LOVES this thing, and spent all afternoon playing contentedly inside.)