Sunday, July 14, 2013

The Rest of the Story

After reading my last post my friend Jill texted me and said something about how she hasn't even considered teaching her daughter letters.
I texted back and said, "Emily just licked the bathroom floor - at work.   Does that make up for her knowing her numbers?"

"Why don't you ever blog about that?" Jill asked.  And then she thanked Emily for taking one for the team.

She was teasing me - but I promised her that my next post would be more about licking bathroom floors and less about knowing numbers.

Jill, this is for you.

TEN THINGS ABOUT MY LIFE:  (or more, if I can think of more)


1. I was eating a bowl of cereal the other day when Emily climbed onto the table.  She started playing with the light over the table and within just seconds dust fell from the light fixture into my bowl of corn flakes.

It was a lot of dust.
I poured the cereal down the sink and added 'dust kitchen light fixture' to my list of things to do.


2. I carry a bag with me everywhere I go.  It is filled with paperwork that I NEVER get to.
There are probably bills that haven't been paid - and phone messages I've never returned.


3. I went to my 20 year high school reunion Saturday night and saw a friend I haven't seen since high school.  He was with another guy we went to high school with and everything he said was in the 'we' form - when he told me that 'they' had just heard their baby's heart beat for the first time, I asked him if he knew yet if the baby were a girl or a boy.  I happened to look at the guy he was with as I asked the question, on the chance that they were 'together', because at this point I really wasn't sure.

They weren't.
Together.
And the friend he was with was quick to let me know that my friend and his wife wanted to be surprised.

Gah.
It's possible I've never been more embarrassed and also possible that I've never laughed so hard as I did when I retold the story to my friends a little bit later.


4.

My daughter.
She licks plunger handles.


5.  I can't remember the last time I cooked a meal.

6.  Emily is supposed to get medicine/vitamins seven days a week.  I average about four days a week that I actually remember to give them to her.

7.  I rarely eat lunch.
By the time I have Emily up and fed and ready for the day I am dashing out the door to get to work at a decent hour, and by the time I get to work I'm too tired to go back out with Emily to find lunch.
I never have time to make a lunch and so unless Becca takes pity on me, I snack on crackers if I have them, or come home from work starving, and with a terrible headache because I haven't eaten.
Every.
Single.
Day.

8.

My daughter.
She licks everything.

9. I'm hopelessly addicted to Candy Crush.

10.  Sometimes I eat cookies for breakfast.

Jill, will that do for now?


4 comments:

Jill said...

YES YES YES!! That's what I'm talking about. A post where I find Emily licking not only the bathroom floor but a plunger and a handrail. That's my girl!! :) And the 20 yr reunion story? I'm dying. THIS is why I absolutely adore you. Oh how you make me laugh. You speak my love language: a healthy amount of wit and sarcasm mixed with proper grammar and spelling. ;) And I totally feel like I've had a winning moment to see an official mention here on the blog. I feel pretty legit now. :)

Allison said...

During my HS reunion I hadn't yet met my now husband but had broken up (again) with my long term boyfriend so I was rather vulnerable. I kept referring to a friend of my as "my girlfriend" not thinking anything of it when a classmate makes some query about if I had come out of the closet....umm nope :) Awkwardsauce.

KC said...

Best post ever, you have inspired me to write about my mommy truth :)

Anaise said...

I'm a stranger to you, but sometimes I hop from Eliza Hutchings' blog to yours . . . this post is tops!!!

You're really quite inspiring.