Thursday, August 22, 2013

My Life's Mission

Under every other thought that drives my life, there is one that remains constant: fill Emily's life with as much love and joy as possible.
Maybe it's normal; maybe it comes because I know what it feels like to have almost lost her...more than once.  Maybe it's a combination of both.

I can tell you this though.
There have been quiet times when I've been listening ... really listening ... and have felt that God was speaking directly to my soul.

"Give her love.  Give her laughter.  Give her peace.  Give her you."  

I could never explain adequately the need I have to fill my little girl's life with as much as I can...for as long as I can.

Tonight that meant going for a bike ride and once we reached the lake, taking her shoes and socks off and letting her play.
If I had known ahead of time that we were going to the lake, I would have brought a change of clothes and let her sit in the lake, because that's all she wanted to do.

(And yes, her shirt is cut.  That's what I get for turning my back for two seconds and leaving a pair of scissors within 10 feet of her.)

It's my prayer that I'll have my sweet girl with me for years and years to come...
But it's also my prayer that on the chance that I don't, I will never let one moment with her pass me by...even if that moment is playing in green, mossy lake water.

1 comment:

Elizabeth said...

I love that scrunchy nose picture. Emily is so, so cute.

And you are amazing. Really, you are. It makes me sad when you talk about people who think you should be giving/doing/being more, because what I see is you giving everything to the two most important people in your life, which is exactly what you should be doing right now.

I find myself struggling to be the awesome person I remember I was while still meeting all the challenges that are required of me now and dealing with the "hard" in my life. I think that holding onto that "on top of it" and "got my act together" illusion is kind of a stumbling block for me personally and the thought came to me that perhaps if I let go a little of my expectations for perfection right now, my life might not be so hard.

I know my hard is not on the level of your hard. It isn't even in the same league as your hard. But I do know what a road of never ending hard stretching out in front of you feels like and sometimes I wonder why it has to be that way for some people.

As an outside observer, I think you are doing a wonderful job. And anyone who expects any more of you should change their expectations.

xo -E