Monday, April 27, 2009

Blind Date - Literally

Want another blind date story?

I have three to choose from:

1. Pilot

2. Mr. I Want To Kidnap You and Never Let You Go

3. The story I really want to tell but can't. It's one of those where the guy might actually read my blog. Oohh but it's a great story.

I'm going to choose the pilot story - and I'll think about posting the one I REALLY want to post.

The story goes like this:

A guy...a family friend...a distant cousin...a long-time co-worker...someone I've known since we were 2 said one day, "Noelle, can I set you up with my roommate?"

Considering our background, and figuring he knew me just as well as anyone would, I said sure.

The roommate seemed like a good catch. He was a pilot, he was well-established, he was older and more mature, he liked to travel ... who wouldn't say yes to being set up?

The roommate called me and asked if I wanted to go flying with him that coming weekend. I agreed. (I probably wouldn't agree now. Considering that two of my favorite people were killed in a small plane accident...)

The night he picked me up turned out to be a bad night for flying. There were dark clouds in the sky and as we took off I could see a storm moving in. And it was moving in really fast. We were in the air for maybe 5 minutes when he said, "I think we should land the plane." Good idea, I thought.

We landed, and before we got out of the plane the storm hit with all of its fury. The wind was unbelievable and the rain even more so. We ran to the truck and after my date let me in he said, "I forgot something. I'll be right back." (That was the longest sentence he had spoken since he picked me up.)

He ran off into the storm and a few minutes later came back. He was without his glasses. "My glasses flew off and I can't find them," he said. "If I can't find them you will have to drive because I can't see without my glasses." And then he was off again to search for them. I didn't even offer to help. This date was pre-Lasik and so I was also wearing glasses and if I was going to be the designated driver...well, the logic made sense to me.

At one point my date opened the door and said, "I can't see anything. Can I use your glasses?" You lost your own glasses, you think I'm going to let you lose mine too? Those were the thoughts I was thinking as I took my glasses off and said, "Don't lose them." And then I was wishing I had some disinfectant wipes in my purse.

I have issues...I won't share shoes, or hats, or let anyone touch my sheets...turns out sharing glasses ranks right up there in my list of issues. But desperate times called for desperate measures.

He found his glasses...lucky for him. He didn't lose mine...lucky for me. We went to dinner but it didn't last long as he wouldn't say more than two words at a time. I SWEAR I'm easy to talk to.

We went flying again the next week...(he said he owed me) this time with the guy who set us up. That guy apologized for the next month. "But Noelle, he's so different when he's with us! I had no idea he didn't talk."

It was a shame really. Flying in a small plane over Provo Canyon and up into Heber could be really romantic...

Hey Dentist, want to become a pilot?


Sandra said...

yes, you are very easy to talk with.

And I want to hear the good story- just change the names to protect the guilty or um innocent?

Mr. Thompson and Me said...

Was his name Gavin by any chance???

Sounds very similar to a blind date I had with a pilot. The one that turned into a stalker outside my work....

p.s. I say go ahead and tell us the story. If he reads least he knows why you aren't taking his calls. :)

David G. Woolley said...

Okay. I give my permission. You can tell story number three. I won't get mad. That's so my old self.

Anonymous said...

I took the counseling course you suggested. The one taught by the Sign Lanugage Company of America. I feel so impowered.

I also read all the books on your special coversation improvement list:

1. How to make polite conversation with a nursery gal.

2. Overcoming silence quietly (Spanish Version)

3. Speak when spoken to and other dinner ettiquet

4. Non-confrontational confrontation

5. Talking your way out of a paper bag.

6. Six ways to deal with the impending sense of silence-induced panic (by renowned co-author Ronald McDonald and the Jazz Bear)

And my favorite:

7. The inital stages of tourettes syndrome: what to do when they say, "sure you can borrow my glasses you freak".

Just know that everything you've done has really helped. Last week I spoke my first complete sentence on a three hour date and I said goodbye. Twice.

Yes! That's huge. Really huge. To get over all the stress build up, I flew my plane to Heber and back through a storm while reciting Psalm 23 a thousand times. Outloud.

I want to thank you for caring enough to hang up on me (story #1 two weeks ago), for caring enough to say no (story #2 from last week), and for caring enough to tell me that you can't be a grown up unless your part of the conversation is measured in something larger than syllables (today's blog).

At work they gave me a new nick name. The talker. I know its hard to believe. I owe it all to you. I'm thinking of quiting my job, moving back east, and trying to get into the talk show business. Its booming. My friend knows Glenn Beck. Wish me luck.


PS: Did you learn to talk so well because you hang out with plants all day? Or is that how you got so good at listening?

Noelle said...

Dave, you're funny. Really funny. Both with the comment you posted as you and with the comment you posted as anonymous. Funny.

Sandra and J, to be honest I come across as the bad person in the other dating story...and I couldn't change it enough to protect the other party.

I'll post of these days. :)

David G. Woolley said...

I accept your comment as an inital attempt at compliance with blogger ettiquet. You're learning. Leave some bread crumbs. Mark your trail. Poke a stick through the bars in your cage and let us know you're fragile, immaciated, a ghost of your former self, mal-nourished, underfed, but still breathing and still watering plants with miracle grow. The wicked witch won't boil you any time soon.

Sincerity, on the other hand, is a topic for another comment.