Thursday, April 28, 2011

Heartache and Things

"Be still, and know that I am God."

Those are the words I'm repeating to myself over and over again today.
This mommy's heart broke a little bit more today, and I'm going to be honest...I'm struggling.

Jason wasn't with me when I met with my doctor...
and he won't be with me when I go next week for an echo cardiogram.

Until I talk with Jason...and probably until I meet with the doctor next week I'll spare you from more of the what-ifs.

In the mean time, if you happen to think about it...
...maybe a gentle reminder my way that He really is God wouldn't hurt.
Believe me, I won't forget it.
It just might get lost for a minute there in the middle of everything else.


Heather said...

I know you will feel better when you talk to Jason. He seems very wise and supportive.

Here. I am lending you my favorite verse.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11

Beth Zimmerman said...

Father God,
I am begging You right now to wrap Noelle up in Your loving arms and assure her that You are RIGHT there with her! That You love her! And that You have a perfect plan for her life as well as for precious baby Emily! Please give her the assurance that even if every single what if comes true ... she has still been blessed with this precious life! God remind her, though it breaks YOUR father heart, that even if her precious little girl should not survive ... her spirit, her soul will live forever with You! And that someday, in Your perfect time, Noelle will be able to hold her precious, healed and whole, daughter in Heaven! In the meantime I ask that you would quiet the doctor from hurting Noelle's heart! Give Jason special words of comfort and assurance. And fill Noelle's world with people who will hold her close and support her ... physically, spiritually, and emotionally! Remind Noelle, Lord God, that You ARE the great physician and that miracles are your business! NOTHING is too hard for You! And the end of this story is not written yet! We praise You for Your answers ... no matter what they are! We love You Lord!

And I love YOU, Noelle! Praying hard ... through some tears! Hugs sweet girl! Just hugs and prayers!

Beth Zimmerman said...

I like that Heather gave you a verse to hold onto. I'm going to give you one that I held onto, alone on an operating table and firmly believing that I was dying ... I was at peace knowing this truth!

So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:10

-stephanie- said...

My prayer for you at this time.

The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace and remain at rest. Exodus 14:14

Take care sweet one.

wjmom said...

"Remember, my [daughter]..."

There's more, but that seemed like enough.

Love and prayers!

Dazee Dreamer said...

you and your little family is in my thoughts and prayers constantly. Hold on to your faith.

Elizabeth said...

Oh, Noelle. I'm so sorry that there are more things to worry over. I wish that Jason could have been there for you, and if you need a hand to hold or a shoulder to cry on, I'm happy to be a substitute. I know I'm not as good as the real thing. Just hang in there, and try to look for the blessings in all these trials. He is God, even though we can't see what he sees. I hope you find some comfort.

xo -El said...

Hang in there, hon. I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Keep the faith that has gotten you this far.

Kate said...

I'm thinking about you sugar. Please hang in there!

Vibha said...

Dear Noelle

I wish I could give you some verse but I don't know any verses from bible. But here is some thing I have known from experience.Mine as well as others experiences .


Don't be scared of what you would be hearing from doctors. I know it is easy for us to say .To understand your situation completely one needs to be in your shoes . But Noelle dear , may be our saying it like it is very much possible to have courage would make you believe that you can conquer this point of your life. I hope so.

Night is so dark and so tiresome and so saddening . I can't even sleep it off . It is so frightening. Adding to my plight it is getting darker and darker making me believe that I would never see a ray of light again. But as I start giving up hope , I see there far in the sky first ray of sunlight . So beautiful , so tiny yet so strong that it fights away the darkest hours of night . Then I feel how wrong I was not believing in miracles.

You see a miracle every morning Noelle. The first ray of sunlight. Is it less than any miracle.

As your due date approaches, no matter what doctors say , you should have hope . A hope that the ray of sunlight would appear. That ray of sunlight is Emily and she would not only bring warm and happiness to you and Jason but also to us . Have faith dear . Believe in miracle . Thousands of prayers are being sent for your child . Do you think God will not listen to at least one of us ?

Love you girl . Praying hard for your family .


Shan said...

Sending you love and peace. Being a mama isn't as easy as the TV shows make out. And every mama has those times when we question our strength and ability to make it through. Like many mamas, you are surrounded by people who love you and will walk with you on this journey.

Sam said...

Oh Noelle, thinking of you & praying. Xo

Marci said...

-k...i want you to quit going to the doctor without jason. please. you need him to be right there by your side to give you hope and reassurance.

and keep telling yourself that little gem. it's a good one.

Cap'n Salty said...

I will pray for you my friend.

jayayceeblog said...

Sending positive thoughts and prayers your way. Have faith, sweetie!