I Wish I Had Something Exciting To Tell You

I just made some popcorn for lunch.

My brother tells me the smell fills the office.

Popcorn smell is better than dirty man smell. That's what I say.

Hold on...I'm not saying my brother has that dirty man smell...

Oh never mind.

My other brother chewed me out this morning for not answering my cell phone.

Tell me...what am I supposed to do when he calls and I'm in the middle of a conversation with someone else on the other phone, AND I have someone in my office waiting to talk to me?

If the truth were known, I'll bet that's most people's number one complaint with me.

I don't answer my phone.

If you're one of those people who call and get my voice mail...I'm sorry.

Mostly.

Talking on the phone is one of my least favorite things to do.

Also, when I'm at work, which is most of the time, I can't answer my phone and chat.

I guess technically I can but the minute I do a customer will come with a question, or my office phone will ring 12,679 times, or my dad will call and then keep calling until I answer him...

It's a heavy burden having a cell phone.

As you can tell, I have nothing of importance to say to you.

Jason's home for a minute.

When he's home he tries to make up for all the time he isn't home.

He changes the sheets, and brings me ice cream, and rubs my feet...

Are you wondering what I do for him?

I help him pluck his eyebrows.

Now that I think about it, that's probably not much of a trade off.

We're meeting with the cardiologist again tomorrow.

Keep your fingers crossed...



On Memorial Day

My dad's dad...Grandpa Platt...was everyones favorite person.
He spent a lot of time with my family.
When he stayed with us his days were spent working in the garden, pulling weeds at the nursery, sweeping the kitchen floor, etc.
And through it all, he sang.

He went with us on family vacations.
He was there for all of our important events.
He went backpacking with the guys.
His charm was contagious and people just wanted to be near him.

There were two things you could count on Grandpa to say.

If you asked him a question to do with timing: "When will this happen or when will that take place?" his response was ALWAYS the same.  "Next summer at 2 o'clock."

And if you asked him where he got something he said, "Oh, I found it on a dead Indian laying on the side of the road."
...not the most politically correct thing to say, but Grandpa loved everyone and no one ever took offense at what he said.

Several weeks ago my nieces were chattering on about how excited they were to go to Washington to visit their other grandparents.
"When are you going to Washington?" I asked.
"Daddy says we can go next summer at 2 o'clock," Erika told me.

Grandpa would be proud of how far his influence still reaches.

What Are Your Weekend Plans?

I can't think of anything to say.

Actually, I can think of a lot of things to say, but you don't need to hear every single one of my frustrations.

It's been a long week.

And at any moment I may just sit down in a corner and cry my eyes out for a little while.

That won't do anybody any good...

Instead, I'll go in search of the medicine that will hopefully keep my dizziness at bay...

...because boy howdy does it want to get ugly today...

And then I'll pretend that I can do my job...

...and when I realize I can't do my job I'll ask for help and get ignored by at least 5 of the employees who work here...

It's going to be a lovely day.

Right?

Somewhere, for someone, it's going to be a lovely day?



Love

The little guy pushing the swing?

He's seven, almost eight, and he's my oldest nephew.

He says his night time prayers by himself.

He's got a long list of people to pray for.

His mom and four of his aunts are pregnant.

(With both sides of his family, he's got a lot of aunts.)

Last night his mom stopped outside his door and heard him praying.

"Please bless all of the babies."

"And Heavenly Father, if there are any babies that are sick, you can make me sick instead."

"I'm not ready to die Heavenly Father, but you can make me sick."

How do you not cry when your sister-in-law tells you that story?

It's What I Do

My life has been filled to overflowing with plants today.

In the last 8 hours I've:

paid for them

billed customers for them

ordered them

priced them

counted them

sold them

sprayed them for bugs

(okay I didn't personally spray them, but I made sure it was done)

Of the entire 12 acres of plants that we sell, the evergreens are my favorite.

It's the smell...it brings me peace.

It does more for me than lavender will ever do.

I can't give you the smell, but I can show you a picture of some beauties we just unloaded.

If you're in the area...and are in need of therapy...I know just the trick.

Short And Sweet

You might think that true love is romance and candlelight, and a dozen red roses.

I think true love is a sister who brings her ironing board and iron to my house and spends

the evening helping me to catch up on two months worth of ironing.

On A Saturday Night

It's 11:00pm and I'm sitting in bed watching the season finale of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm balling my eyes out.
I'm a little bit of a mess tonight.

I've been Googling 'too much amniotic fluid.'
Bad idea.
There are a lot of possible complications as a result of too much amniotic fluid...

After giving seven different people an upate about Emily today, I got a little bit discouraged.

Jason's out of town again...he'll be home late Sunday night and then he leaves again Monday afternoon for a week. 
I miss him.

Someone at work told me, "You can't possibly get any bigger."

I ticked a guy off today when I told him there was a line to check out and he needed to wait until I helped the customers in front of him.  He left mad.  I've thought about it all day long wondering if I should have handled it differently.

At least the world didn't end today!

As Told By My Sister-In-Law Rachel

One of Allie’s favorite “Dora” episodes is where Dora meets a troll along her travels.

She wants to cross a bridge but before she can, out jumps a troll who sings, “I’m an ugly old troll who lives under the bridge”.

Then Dora has to do something to make the old troll laugh or solve a riddle or something.

Why, do you ask, do you need to know about Allie’s favorite Dora episode?

Well, it all happened in Costco.

It seems like that is the place where Allie likes to embarrass her mother the most.

(I guess it’s better that way since I won’t ever see the strangers again.)

We had just finished our shopping and were pulling up to a check stand to pay.

I had almost made it out of the doors without any crazy experiences.

As I started unloading food, a gentleman walked up to the check stand next to us.

Allie stared and stared at this gentleman….and I can understand why.

He was a short, older gentleman, balding-- with long and stringy grey hair.

He also had a full-grown, grey and stringy beard.

(I bet you can tell where this story is going.)

Well this lovely gentleman noticed Allie staring and waved politely.

That’s when Allie sang out, “You’re an ugly old troll, who lives under a bridge”.

It caught me off guard….

I was embarrassed but as I looked at the gentleman, the resemblance to Dora’s troll was undeniable.

And I laughed out loud.

Then I was mortified cause not only had Allie called this man a troll…but I had laughed.

So I got myself under control, gave Allie my best shame-on-you look and tried to stay busy unloading groceries.

We hurried from Costco without even apologizing because I was so embarrassed.

Gotta love that Allie!!



(This is Allie all grown up.)

The Rain Came Down And The Floods Came Up

When it rains so much that you take up a new side job of building an ark...

And you work at a nursery...

It's best to go to work prepared:



You can stop any day now rain...any day.

PS.  My coat barely zips up over my belly.

PPS. The army dude is my brother Ben...in case you were wondering.

And we didn't plan on matching.

Thinking Up A Title Is Still The Hardest Part of Blogging

Tell me...
Is there something...anything...that will ease the constant pain I'm feeling these days?
Because oh my honk...
Tonight I shed a few tears even...that's how much I hurt.
I had no idea.

Dear Mom,
Triplets and twins?
I don't know how you did it.
Jason just asked me, "Do you want four more kids?"
I suggested we make it through this one and see what happens.
Four?
It's highly doubtful.

I was asked this question today when I answered the phone:
"Is there a man there who knows about trees?"
I sighed a loud sigh and asked, "How about a woman who knows about trees?"
His response?
"Oh...well...sure, I guess..."
All I can do is roll my eyes.

I'm curious.
If I link to my other blog to tell you about our latest doctor's appointment, how many of you will actually click over and read it?

We sleep with our window open.
I was happy and content listening to the rain fall early this morning...until a bird starting singing.
That bird was persistent and annoying.
At 5:30 this morning I got up and shut the window.  It was subconscious, but Jason sighed a happy sigh and snuggled deeper into our down comforter.  Even in his sleep, he was annoyed by the bird.
Admitting that makes me feel like a scrooge.

Here's what doesn't make me feel like a scrooge:
Getting cookies delivered to me at work by friends...both old and new.
Twice in one week...and it's not even my birthday.
Thank you friends.

Is It Tuesday Yet?

I'm not a fan of Mondays.
I've said it before, and I'm sure I'll say it again.
My busiest work day is always Monday, and I never have enough time to get everything done.

Do you have any doubt about how much I love my husband?
You shouldn't.
I'll tell you why.
On Saturday I got a text from him that said, "Come to your office please."
I was outside helping a customer and excused myself to go to the office.
There Jason sat, with a cup of mint chocolate chip ice cream from Baskin Robins...my favorite.
He walked with me through the trees as I ate my ice cream.
And then he stayed and helped me get some things done.
He lifted, and pushed the heavy carts, and moved the plants, and threw the trash out, and loaded a heavy planter for a customer, and mostly just made sure that I didn't do all of those things.

This afternoon he brought me lunch, warmed it in the microwave for me, swept up the pile of dirt that's been in the middle of the kitchen floor for a week (yes, my office has a kitchen...and I was rebelling...I didn't make the mess in the middle of the kitchen floor and I wasn't going to clean it up), and rubbed my back for just enough time to ease the ache.

As I was walking him to his car he said, "I bought a carpet cleaner and cleaned the spot in the living room, and I got something for dinner so I'll put it in the oven before you get home.  Is there anything else you need me to do?"

I'll never know what I did to deserve him...
But I'm going to keep him.

I Might Whimper A Bit In The Months To Come

Hayley instead of James?
I don't get it America.

I have these moments where life simply overwhelms me.
Right now is one of those moments.
My job can be physically demanding, and in the past I've been able to deal with that.
In fact, I enjoy getting hot and sweaty, and working hard.
Being 29 weeks pregnant makes that difficult.
And so instead of taking care of the dead tress that need to be moved, or spreading the gravel that needs to be spread, or moving the plants that need to be moved from one part of the nursery to the other I have to wait until someone else does it for me.
There is a project here at work that would take someone ten minutes to do. 
I can't do it because it requires heavy lifting.
I've asked for it to get done no less than seven times.
When I drove into work this morning I saw that the project was still not completed, and all I could do was sigh.

I know that in a few months those limitations will disappear ... but then I'll be faced with a new reality:

-a new born baby
-medical bills
-hospital stays
-surgeries
-a full-time job that I have to keep because of the insurance benefits that will help with the medical bills

...not to mention everything else like laundry, and keeping the house clean, and figuring out how to keep my husband fed...

Jason is great.  Usually when we have a home-cooked meal it's because he cooked it.  He helps with the laundry, and cleaning the house, and in fact, he's the only one who ever makes the bed.

But even with that, I feel like I'm drowning and I haven't even gone in the water yet.

It's going to be okay...it's going to be okay...that's what I keep telling myself.

On a lighter note...
When I was a little girl I spent most weekends at my grandparent's house.
There were two things I could count on:  Kix cereal and graham crackers and milk for a bed-time snack.
Last night as Jason and I were eating our own bed-time snack of graham crackers and milk, I thought of the two boxes of Kix cereal I have in the pantry, and I smiled. 

My weekend will be spent working...I hope yours is not.

House Cleaning Techniques

When I got home last night my husband had vacuumed the whole house, and was in the process of dusting.

His technique was amazing.

We have high ceilings and it's impossible to reach the ceiling fan.

That husband of mine was throwing the duster up and over each of the blades of the ceiling fan.

When he had thrown the duster into the air at least 8 times he said,

"There, the dust is now gone."

(I wonder if I could get him to dust my office at work?)

Trouble was here yesterday.

My dad and I were talking and Trouble was busy 'working.'

She was stapling papers together and writing notes down in her notepad.

At one point she ran into the other room where there is a telephone that doesn't work.

Dad had just said the name Eric in his conversation with me and Trouble picked up on it.

From the other room I heard, "Eric, this is Sami at Linden Nursery. We have..."

...and then she went off and I didn't understand her.

After her conversation with Eric, Trouble 'talked' to another customer.

I guess this one was giving her fits because her tone changed.

"No, I already told you that," Trouble was saying.

She found some lipstick in my purse and when I came into the room she had put it on.

A few minutes later I used the lipstick and Trouble looked up at me and said,

"Are you putting that on so you can look pretty like me?"

Trouble used to ask me to carry her everywhere.

Now she just wants to hold my hand.

"You can't carry me," she tells me.

"Me and Elimy are too heavy for you."

I love her name for Emily.

One last thing before I remind myself that I have a job.

My husband is going to be out of town the ENTIRE month of June.

Actually, I think he'll be home a total of three nights.

Last night I asked him, "What happens if I go into early labor?"

"I guess you better get to a hospital fast,"is how he replied.

Do you feel a little bit sorry for me?

My Trip To The Post Office

Our phones and internet have been down at work since 10:00 yesterday morning.

My brother has called the phone company no less than 17 times.

In our case, the squeaky wheel is not getting the grease.

I snuck away to use my sister's computer to post this blog...

the enter key on her keyboard isn't working.

It's kind of annoying.

Now that I'm here, sitting in front of the computer, I don't really have anything to say.

My head feels dizzy today and my eyes are burning.

I probably should have stayed in bed.

I know, I'll tell you a story about a man who got really mad at me last week.

I had pulled up to the drop-off box at the post office.

There was a car in front of me, blocking the mail boxes.

He wasn't putting mail in the boxes, he was just sitting there talking on his phone.

From the expression on his face, and his hand gestures, I could tell it was a bad conversation, and he was letting whoever was on the other end of the phone have it.

I waited behind him patiently, thinking that at any moment he would look up, see me, and pull out.

He didn't.

I waited several minutes and by this point there was another car waiting behind me.

I finally tapped my horn to let the man know there were people behind him.

Trust me, it was a tap...and barely a tap at that.

I had no other intention, except to let him know that we were waiting for him to move.

That man...

I worried that he might go postal on me.

(Sometimes I crack myself up.)

He looked at me in his rear view mirror and glared.

He raised his arms up as if to say, "WHAT?"

I smiled and showed him my stack of mail and pointed to the mail box.

He just sat there...glaring at me.

Finally, he drove off, but not without making a certain gesture with his finger, and giving me the evil eye the entire time he was at the stop sign.

All I could do was laugh and shake my head.

Before I leave my sister's office I may have to raid her refrigerator.

She's always got Coke in there...and although I'm not a huge fan of it...today may be a Coke kind of day.

Here's hoping that you have sunshine where you are!

I'm Not Really Here Today

Jason and I walked along a path next to the river tonight.

Jason wanted to see how high the water was.

It was beautiful...until the sound of the water played tricks on my bladder.

Jason laughed a lot.

I've written about my visit with the pediatric cardiologist.

It's the first post of my new blog:

Dear Emily, Love Mommy.

(My sneaky way of getting you to read the other blog.)

(Did it work?)



It's Raining And I'm Not Complaining...Not Even A Little Bit

Oh my honk.
I have so much to say and no time to say it.

First, I want to say...I NEED to say...THANK YOU...to all of you.
I have never felt more loved and supported than I have the last few weeks.
It's overwhelming really...this blog family that I have...and each of you in your own way has touched my heart, and has made this trial we're going through easier to manage.  I thank God every day for every one of you.

I hope that Mother's Day was a beautiful day for all of you.
My Mother's Day was exactly what I needed.  I took a nap for the majority of the afternoon.  It was heaven.

I'm to that stage in pregnancy where my ankles are the size of ... well, they're huge.
It doesn't help that on Friday and Saturday I was standing for well over 10 hours.
When I finally dragged my weary body home from work Friday night Jason gave me a foot massage.
Considering that he himself had just dragged his weary body home from a 65 mile backpacking adventure I felt pretty spoiled.
I love that husband of mine.
A lot.

I know that I owe you a report from my appointment with the pediatric cardiologist.
Tomorrow will be the day for that...

And I know I owe you a pregnancy picture...or so say some of you.
I'm not a fan of taking my picture.
But for you...

And finally...I'm starting a new blog.
Not the garden blog.
I put that one on the back burner until I feel like my life has settled down.
The new one is called 'Dear Emily, Love Mommy' and it will be a journal of letters I write to my little girl.
I debated on making it private...but then decided not to. 
So...if you need yet another something to read from me, the link is http://www.dearemilylovemommy.blogspot.com/

It's still under construction so don't go 'gah' at the layout.  Maybe by tomorrow it will be finished.  WAIT!  It's finished!  I just got an email telling me so!  A million thanks to Kristin for doing it for me!!!

And with that...I have got to get back to work.
The papers are ever piling higher and as it is I'm going to be here until midnight.

Two Bars

That husband of mine is backpacking...and has been since Saturday.
He will be home Friday night.
He has had the trip planned for a year, and felt a strong obligation to go.
His choice to go wasn't made lightly...knowing that he would miss today's appointment with the pediatric cardiologist.
He went with my blessing.  His being here would not change the outcome.
He's in the middle of nowhere, backpacking through a canyon where few have gone before him.
He's somewhere near Lake Powell, where a cell phone tower was recently installed.
And tonight, after climbing to the top of a high point, my husband had cell phone service.
Two bars.

Two bars were enough.
Enough for me to be able to tell him that today for the first time, I heard something other than the worst case scenario.
They were enough for me to be able to tell him, "Your little girl is going to be okay."
We're not out of the woods; our baby girl will be less than a week old when she has to have her first surgery, and 6 months old when she has to have her second surgery, and 5 or 6 years old when she has to have her third surgery.
Two bars were enough to tell him that although the doctor didn't rule out Down's Syndrome completely, he was able to lessen the likelihood. 
Two bars were enough to tell him that I am okay.

Two bars were enough to hear Jason let out the breath he's been holding for 6 weeks.
They were enough to hear Jason tell me how much he loves me...and our little Emily.
Two bars were enough for us to verbally acknowledge God's hand in our lives.
They were enough to confirm our solid belief in prayer and in miracles.
And they were enough to say again...that no matter what the outcome...we are blessed.

Those two bars...well, no two bars were ever more appreciated.

(I promise I'll give you the details...but tomorrow, when I can keep my eyes open.)

Go Ahead...Watch It

Some kind hearted anonymous commenter suggested I listen to this song.
I figure if I'm going to sit and cry at work, I should share the love.
To whoever you are...thank you...this found the right spot in my heart.

I Keep Finding Beetles In My Living Room

Sometimes when Jason is out of town I take ridiculously long bubble baths and then curl up in bed and watch movies that he would hate.
Actually he would probably watch them and say something like, "I'll watch anything you want to as long as I can sit close to you."
I wonder if there will come a day when he doesn't care about snuggling.
Knowing him...probably not.
If there is one thing I know for certain, it's that my husband loves me.

Speaking of my husband...
Trouble no longer calls him Jason.
It's so cute.
Today she brought me two flowers.  "Noelle, this flower is for you and this one is for your husband."
Later in the day she asked, "Hey, where's your husband's flower?"
I asked, "Who is my husband?" and that little girl rolled her eyes.
And then she took my hand as we walked up the road and sang, "I wanna hold your hand."

I put some clothes in the washer tonight and noticed something.
I've got shirts needing to be ironed that have been hanging in the laundry room since we got back from Mexico.
Do you know how long ago that was?
It's getting ridiculous.

One more thing...my brother says I waddle.
Rude.

Is Life Sometimes Overrated?

I just realized I'm out of antacid.
Sad isn't it?
That's not the saddest thing about my life.
Jason is out of town until Saturday night, and he doesn't have cell phone service.
That makes me more sad than my lack of antacid.
Especially when he's not here to hold me while I cry myself to sleep at night.

Turns out Down's Sydrome is the least of our worries...although that's still a very real possibility.
It was my regular OBGYN who told me that our little Emily may not have a strong enough heart to live on her own once she's born.
And if she does live, the reality is we're looking at surgeries that may not fix anything, just patch things temporarily.

It was just an hour after I heard this news that one of my customers walked past me and said, "Would it kill you to smile Noelle?"

It seems that all of a sudden everyone notices that I'm pregnant.
"Noelle!  You're having a baby!  When are you due?  Is it a boy or a girl?  Oh you must be so excited!"
I'm not sure how to respond.
I smile and say that I'm due the first part of August, and that it's a girl and her name is Emily...and that yes, we're happy.
And then I turn my back to wipe away the tears.

I have never wanted to skip out on a doctor's appointment more in my life than I do this next one.
I would give anything to not have to hear the result of the echo cardiogram they will do this week.
Because as my doctor gently told me, the echo cardiogram will probably tell us exactly what it is we're facing.
Considering that all I've heard from doctors recently is bad news...

I'm so hesitant to write these things...
You come to this blog for something other than sadness and worry and at the moment it seems I'm incapable of giving anything but that.

I promise that I find things to smile at every day.
Today that smile was found as I watched my little nephew flirt with everyone he saw at church...and tonight when Trouble crawled up on my lap and put her hand on my stomach and asked how little 'Elimy' was doing.

I'm blessed.
No matter what happens, I know that God is there...
And it seems that whenever I need something more, that little baby of mine gives me an extra kick, to let me know that she's there...
Oh how I hope she's a fighter.