Monday, April 29, 2013

All Dressed Up

Emily went to a party - her Aunt Tiffany is going to have a baby and we celebrated.

This little lady is my favorite part of life.

Friday, April 26, 2013

Just For Today I Quit

My uncle watched us as Emily and I were playing outside while she was being fed and he said, "that's just sad."
He was referring to the fact that Emily was receiving her food through a feeding tube in her tummy.
He watched for another minute and said, "Noelle, I think God must really hate you."
Knowing my uncle and his personality he was probably 90% serious.
I picked Emily up and walked into my office where I sat down and just cried.

I know what he said is far from true but it's been an incredibly long, stressful week and I'm EXHAUSTED.

I'm going to go now and find a way to stop crying because what do you know, I forgot the waterproof mascara.

Do me a favor?
Never say something like that to someone - it doesn't help.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

My Day

I don't think this day could be any less productive if I tried!
Not unproductive in the I didn't shower or comb my hair and I'm still in my pajamas kind of way, but in the I've been at work for nearly five hours now and have yet to do anything work related way.

Let's see - Emily's feeding tube fed the floor, rather than Emily's stomach and I spent nearly an hour cleaning the carpet.

My brother had my car (which had a change of clothes for the little lady) and so my sister ran to the store and bought an outfit so that Em wouldn't remain sopping wet the entire day.  (Thanks Manda!)

I spent half an hour trying to get Emily to take a nap (she's opposed to all things sleep lately, and I'm turning into a zombie).

I spent another half hour talking to a customer I hadn't seen in a long time.

My co-worker recently had a baby, and when her babysitter brought her baby to work unexpectedly, my co-worker asked if she could leave her baby in my office, asleep in her car seat, until she finished what she needed to do in the greenhouses.

I said yes, and of course as soon as my co-worker left, her little girl started to cry and wouldn't stop until I took her out of the car seat and held her.
It would seem we are a full service nursery - both with your plant and baby needs.

A sales rep sent a text this morning asking if he could stop by and show me some pictures of plants that he downloaded to his iPad.
I kindly told him that today wouldn't be a good day, and that if I needed anything, I would just go to their website.
He showed up anyway and so right after the feeding tube fiasco and before I had a chance to clean it or Emily up, I had to put a smile on my face and visit with the sales rep.

And now Em is going to wake up from her nap any minute and I'm going to take her home.
I would stay late except that my carpet is still incredibly wet, and I don't want Em crawling all over it.

Jason has been gone since Saturday and won't be home until sometime this coming Saturday or Sunday.
He's backpacking somewhere in Southern Utah and after the fourth time he tried to sell this trip as work I stopped him mid-sentence.

"Hon, you can sell this as a work trip to the rest of the world if you would like, but don't even try with me.  This is a vacation and we both know it."
He smiled and gave me a big hug and said, "I owe you."

Yes.  Yes he does.

I'm going to go now and pack up my stack of paperwork and lug it home with me.
(Full disclosure would require that I tell you that lugging the paperwork home doesn't matter.  I don't do anything with it when I'm home.  It just makes me feel better to take it home with me because it means there's a chance that I'll accomplish something.)

Here's hoping I never have to ask any of you for a job.  I think I've done a lousy job at selling myself as a good employee!

Friday, April 19, 2013

Enough Said!

Thursday, April 18, 2013

It's Not Much

It's 12:20am and Jason and I are just now sitting down to eat dinner: chicken taquitos and black beans for Jason and a bowl of corn flakes for me.

Duck Dynasty is on in the background, and Em is sleeping least until 3:00am when she will more than likely wake up crying.
She's done that every night for the last two weeks - for as long as she's been sick.
I'll get up and hold her for a minute and she'll go right back to sleep...until 5:00 or 6:00 when she will wake up crying again.
This time she won't stop crying until she's snuggled between her daddy and me, and it's at that point that she'll sleep her most peaceful sleep of the night.

One morning not too many days ago Jason looked at me wearily and said, "We can't ever let Emily get sick again."

Other than sleep deprivation and a finally recovering Emily, life plugs along.

My brother got attacked by a lawn mower blade he was sharpening, and is now wearing a bright blue bandage on his hand.  He's lucky he didn't sever the tendon in his finger.

My cousin, in a very serious conversation, told my dad he has been abducted by aliens twice.

My stack of paperwork grows larger every day.

Jason's leaving on Saturday for eight days.
He will be backpacking and won't have cell phone service.
I wonder if I'll ever be able to convince him to go backpacking sometime other than when it's my busiest time at work.
It's not likely.

It's now 1:20am.  Emily woke up.  If she wakes up at 3:00am I'm going to cry.

Last night I was telling Jason a story about Emily.
Mid-sentence, I managed to fall asleep and start dreaming.
I finished the sentence talking about whatever it was I was dreaming about.
I woke up knowing that I wasn't making sense, and Jason was laughing at me.

* * * * *

It's now almost noon the next day.
I fell asleep last night before I could finish this post.

I'm just headed to work where I get to deal with an employee who I am half tempted to fire - and this employee has only been working for two days.

Em didn't wake up at 3:00 - she waited until 5:30.  Bless her.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

A Little Note From Emily

Hi World.
I've been sick.
A lot sick.
My doctors and my mommy are taking care of me so that I can stay out of the hospital.

My daddy has been out of town and last night Mommy told me we could have a slumber party in her bed.
Mommy says sleeping in the rocking chair is getting kind of old, and she thought we would like her bed better.
She was right!

Whenever I woke up coughing or crying my mommy was right there to snuggle me and I really liked that.
I haven't been sleeping very well and mommy said I was exhausted.
I think Mommy is exhausted too because whenever I look at her she has her eyes closed.

My doctor tested me for strep throat yesterday because my throat is so red, but Mommy said it was red just because I've been crying and screaming so much.
My throat really really hurts, but there isn't anything Mommy can do to help it because I won't put anything in my mouth.
Mommy has tried to squirt water in my mouth with a syringe but I get mad at her and hit the syringe away.

Last night I heard Mommy pray to Heavenly Father and ask Him to help my throat feel better.
Mommy was crying a little bit because she felt so helpless.
After Mommy finished praying I stopped crying and looked up at Mommy and smiled.
I even got off of the couch and played with my toys for a little while.
I didn't cry for a long time because my throat felt better.
Mommy said it was a tender mercy but Grandma said it was a miracle.
I didn't say anything but I knew that if Mommy prayed, Heavenly Father would help me.

Mommy says I'm missing a small piece of one of my chromosomes, and that is why I get sick a lot.
She says it's harder for me to get better when I'm sick for the same reason.
Mommy says that my missing chromosome is the reason my tummy gets so upset sometimes, and is the reason for my broken heart.

Sometimes my mommy gets really sad about that missing chromosome, because not having it makes my life kind of hard.
But then Mommy reminds us that it also makes my life really special.

Mommy says I have lots of people who love me and who pray for me.
And I have an extra special heart filled with love and purity.
Mommy says that when people are around me they feel peace.
She says it's because I'm filled with extra light from heaven.

Mommy says that Heavenly Father loves me a lot, and He will always be there to help me.
Mommy doesn't have to tell me that part, because it's the one thing I know more than anything.
He's always been there - when I'm sick or scared, or when I'm going in for another surgery.
I know Mommy can't see Him, and I know a lot of people don't even believe in Him, but World, I know that my Heavenly Father is real and that He loves me, and that's way more important than some silly missing chromosome.

I think I need to take another nap now.
Thanks for checking up on me World.



Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Woe Is Emily

My parents have had a Brazilian lady staying with them.
She spent an afternoon shopping at a newly developed outlet mall.
At the Tommy Hilfiger store she spent $1800.00 
According to my mom she's not even a little bit wealthy.
My sister in law and I looked at the receipt and are still in shock.
Just thought I'd share.

* * *

This picture represents the first time in nearly 24 hours that my little lady has slept.
And at that she only slept for about 20 minutes.
She's been sick beyond anything I've seen in a long time, and when we took her in yesterday to the pediatrician, they did a chest x-ray and told us that pneumonia is just around the corner.

She spent all of last night crying and whimpering, alternating between her crib and my arms.

Emily's Aunt Becca didn't think that the small Minnie Mouse was enough, and so she came over last night and delivered the bigger Minnie Mouse.
Em has been snuggling on it's lap for most of the afternoon.

I'm tired World.
Boy howdy am I tired.
I spelled my name wrong this morning when I was signing it, that's how tired I am.
Jason is leaving again in the morning to go out of town, and it's possible that I spent a good 10 minutes this morning balling my eyes out.

I've been at work this afternoon while Em has been home with her daddy.
I was hoping to sneak in a nap but I had too much to do.
I got a lot done so that counts for something.

I'm hoping beyond hope that Emily won't be crying when I get home.
She lost her voice because of all of the crying, and she needs a break!

Sunday, April 7, 2013

And I Don't Even Like Dogs

I spent most of Saturday in my pajamas.
I was a busy girl: cleaning my house, doing laundry, taking care of a sick little girl, eating popcorn ...
If you happened to see me outside in my pajamas, just know it takes something drastic to get me to open the door, let alone leave the house, when I'm in my pjs.

We share a common backyard with most of our neighbors, and when I looked out my window to see why my neighbor's dog was yapping so loudly, I noticed two little boys picking on him.

I watched for a few minutes to see if the neighbors would come to the dogs rescue but when they didn't, I put on a sweater over my less than modest pajama top and ran outside.

"Hey, you guys should be nice to the dog," I said.
The little kids had been kicking it and throwing rocks at it.
The older of the two kids just looked at me while the younger one picked up another rock.
By this point the dog was cowering under a bench on the pack patio.
I stepped in front of the boy and said, "Don't you dare throw that rock.  You guys get on your bikes and go find your mom."

(I don't know the boys or I would have found their mom for them.)

I went back inside after the boys got on their bikes, but watched from the window to make sure they actually rode away.
They didn't.

The younger brother got off his bike and headed back over to the dog.
The older brother picked up a rock and threw it at his little brother and started yelling at him.

The younger brother started crying and I went out and picked him up and held him for a minute.

"We don't throw rocks at dogs or our brothers," I said.
I picked up the bikes, helped the younger boy on his bike while he still screamed, and said, "I'm serious.  Go find your mom.  Now."

They rode off, all the while the little boy screamed his head off.

Within one minute of me walking back in my house, the neighbor came out and took the dog inside.
Those neighbors.
They probably stood inside watching the entire thing.
Me in my pajamas defending a dog - the neighbors need to get out more if that's as exciting as their day got.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

I Have A Love Hate Relationship With Spring

Em and I are on our own for the rest of the week.
It's the time of year when Jason travels a lot and it's the time of year when my work schedule is insane.
I hope my sweet girl doesn't get sick to death of Mommy's office, because that's where she'll be spending most of her time.
I try to make it as fun as I can for her.
We have a TV with a DVD player so that she can watch her shows.
We go for wagon rides.

We visit Emily's best friend Aunt Becca.
We play outside in the dirt when the sun is shining.
We throw plastic balls at each other.

Emily makes messes, and takes over Mommy's chair.

We read stories and snuggle and when Em finally takes a nap I work as hard and fast as I can to get caught up.
I never get caught up.

Did you happen to notice that Emily got a haircut?  It was time - it was past time.
She no longer has the one patch of hair that is twice as long as the rest, and I'm in love with her cute little pixie cut.
Thanks Jess!  

Because of this dilemma of never getting caught up (and that's not even touching all that I'm behind with at home) and Jason traveling a lot, I made the decision to cancel all of Emily's therapies for the next three months.

We've had weekly therapy appointments since Emily was just a few months old, and with the exception of her physical therapy, I haven't noticed a huge difference in Em's development because of the other therapists.

Something had to give, and when it came down to my sanity or Em's therapy appointments ... well, I need my sanity.
We'll start up again in July, but I can't tell you what a relief it is to not have someone knocking on my door at noon once or twice a week.

I know I'm beyond blessed to be able to take Emily to work with me, but it's hard.  It's really hard.

Today I had to run up to our store while Emily was taking a nap.
(My office is on one end of the property, and the store is on the other end.)
My cousin Travis was in the office helping a couple of customers and I asked him to just listen for Emily.
I knew she wouldn't wake up in the short time I was gone, but knowing Travis was in the office gave me peace of mind.
Five minutes later, as I was walking back to my office, I saw Travis and the customers walking out into the trees.
I picked up my pace knowing Em was alone in the office, and a minute later Travis turned and saw me.

"Prima! (prima means cousin in Spanish) I forgot I was supposed to watch her.  I knew I was forgetting something when I walked out of the office but I couldn't remember what it was."

In his defense, Travis is a bachelor and has no kids of his own.  I let him off the hook after making him feel just a little bit guilty when I suggested that it would have been his fault had someone snuck in and kidnapped my cute little girl.

It was 7:00 tonight before I packed up and headed for home.
I had to run an errand and so it was nearing 8:30 before we walked in the door.
Emily played while I washed the dishes that have been in the sink for a couple of days, and then Emily was ready for bed.

Emily sets the schedule for her nap time and her bed time.  
When she's tired and ready for bed she will come up to me and tug on my leg until I pick her up.
After I pick her up I ask her if she's ready to go night night.  If all she wanted was a hug she'll squirm out of my arms and continue to play.
If she truly is ready for bed she will put her head on my shoulder and keep it there until we head up the stairs.
Tonight she was sound asleep within just ten minutes of walking into her bedroom.

I'm sure this post had a point when I started it, but I've long forgotten what it was.
Maybe it was simply to say that my life is nuts.
I've always wished that everyone in my life could work in a garden center in the spring time, for just a week or two.
It would cure all possibility of someone getting offended when it takes me a week to respond to a text, or when I don't answer my phone - ever.

If you get bored and want to come and visit Emily while she's at work, I'm sure she would love the company, and the change of scenery!

Monday, April 1, 2013


On occasion I see something that makes me stop in my tracks and take a second look.

When I stopped in my tracks on this particular occasion, I hoped like crazy that someone wasn't going to come out the front door and shoot me while I was taking this picture.

All I can think to ask is why?

For The Love...

If I'm going to have to live with this:

shouldn't I at least be able to blame something like a cruise or a Caribbean vacation?

Dumb dumb work.

And yes, I know, sunscreen...
I've never burned in my life.
I have always tanned - always.

Dear skin, next time I would appreciate a memo letting me know that you're going to change things up.  

If you know a secret remedy to ease the incredible pain I'm in, feel free to send it my way!
In the meantime, I'm going to wake Jason up and ask him to spray more aloe vera.


Know of a place I can get a cute hat that does more for me than the hat I was wearing did?

Dumb work.


There I was, doing hard, physical labor, labor that no one else at my place of employment has ever even considered doing, burning my poor skin nigh unto death, and my rake broke.
A brand new rake.

Insult to injury is what it is.